


unusual suspects

by AwatereJones



Series: Torchwwod Style Movie re-writes [14]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alt Verse, Gen, Rewrite, Silly, fake - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-13 02:56:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15354693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwatereJones/pseuds/AwatereJones
Summary: Usual Suspects is another favorate movie of mine so I am murdering it now ... let's see how it goes with some well known charecters in the parts they were not intended for, eh? Look, this is Alt Vers and a bit of fun, do not take it too seriously or no-one might get out alive.Just remember .. nothing is what it seems.





	1. Come sit by the fire and I'll tell you the story

1

The lonely sound of a buoy bell in the distance. Water slapping against a smooth, flat surface in rhythm. The creaking of wood.

Off in the very far distance, one can make out the sound of sirens.

Suddenly a single match ignites and invades the darkness. It quivers for a moment. A dimly lit hand brings the rest of the pack to the match. A plume of yellow-white flame flares and illuminates the battered face of Jack Harkness, age forty. His dark hair is wet and matted. His face drips with water or sweat. A large cut runs the length of his face from the corner of his eye to his chin. It bleeds freely. An unlit cigarette hangs in the corner of his mouth.

In the half-light we can make out that he is on the deck of a large boat. A yacht, perhaps, or a small freighter. He sits with his back against the front bulkhead of the wheel house.

His legs are twisted at odd, almost impossible angles. He looks down.

A thin trail of liquid runs past his feet and off into the darkness. Jack lights the cigarette on the burning pack of matches before throwing them into the liquid.

The liquid IGNITES with a poof.

The flame runs up the stream, gaining in speed and intensity.

It begins to ripple and rumble as it runs down the deck towards the stern.

A stack of oil drums rests on the stern. They are stacked on a palette with ropes at each corner that attach it to a huge crane on the dock. One of the barrels has been punctured at ita base. Gasoline trickles freely from the hole. The flame is racing now towards the barrels. Jack smiles weakly to himself.

The flame is within a few yards of the barrels when another stream of liquid splashes onto the gas.

The flame fizzles out pitifully with a hiss. Two feet straddle the flame. A stream of urine flows onto the deck from between them.

The sound of a fly zipping. Follow the feet as they move over to where Jack rests at the wheel house.

The unknown man pulls a pack of cigarettes out of one pocket and a strange antique lighter from the other. It is gold, with a clasp that folds down over the flint. The man flicks up the clasp with his thumb and strikes it with his index finger. It is a fluid motion, somewhat showy.

Jack looks up at the man. A look of realization crosses his face. It is followed by frustration, anger, and finally resignation.

"How are you, Jack? "

"I'd have to say my spine was broken, Keyser." he spits the name out like it was poison.

The man puts the lighter back in his pocket and reaches under his jacket. He produces a stainless .38 revolver. "Ready?"

"What time is it?"

The hand with the gun turns over, turning the gold watch on its wrist upward.

The sound of sirens is closer now. Headed this way.

"Twelve thirty."

Jack grimaces bitterly and nods. He turns his head away and takes another drag. The hand with the gun waits long enough for Jack to enjoy his last drag before pulling the trigger.

GUNSHOT

The sound of Jack's body slumping onto the deck. Below is the stream of gasoline still flowing freely. The sound of the gasoline igniting. The flame runs towards the barrels, finally leaping up in a circle around the drums, burning the wood of the pallet and licking the spouting stream as it pours from the hole.

The pier to which the boat is moored is littered with dead bodies. Twenty or more men have been shot to pieces and lie scattered everywhere in what can only be the aftermath of a fierce fire-fight.

On the deck of a nearby barge is a tangle of cables and girders.

The mesh of steel and rubber leaves a dark and open cocoon beneath its base.

Sirens are close now. Almost here. The sound of fire raging out of control.

Voices yelling. New light flickering in the surrounding darkness.

Suddenly a large explosion.

Then silence.

.

.

.

.

.  
We hear the voice of Ifan "IANTO" Jones, whom we will soon meet.

" __ **New York. - six weeks ago. A truck loaded with stripped gun parts got jacked outside of Queens. The driver didn't see anybody, but somebody fucked up. He heard a voice. Sometimes, that's all you need."**  
  
BOOM

…

.

.

.

.

Somewhere downtown in a grimy apartment building a quiet night explodes with the opening of a door into a dark room. Outside, the hall is filled with blinding white light. Shadows in the shapes of men flood into the room. We can make out men in hoods with flashlights. They are laden with weapons.

"POLICE. SEARCH WARRANT. DON'T MOVE. "

It is a blur of violent action and sound. Beams of flashlights cut the darkness in all directions.

A dozen flashlights land on one woman. She lies naked in bed, emerging from a deep sleep. She squints at the flood of blinding white light, more annoyed than frightened.

She nearly laughs at the sound of countless guns cocking. She is Suzie. Age twenty-eight.

"Suzie Costello?"

"Yeah."

"Police. We have a warrant for your arrest." One of the men squirms as she stretches to show her assets.

"Will they be serving coffee downtown?" Two dozen black gloved hands grab her and yank her out of bed.

.

.

..

An old paint mixer vibrates furiously. TOSHIKO SATO, a svelte, tiny woman in her thirties is working on an old Fire-bird. A young black kid mixes paint a few feet away. Suddenly the garage door opens to show a row of five men silhouetted by the bright sun. Sato squints.

"Can I help you?" Sato's voice is low.

"Toshiko Sato?"

Sato reaches for something just inside the door of the Fire-bird. "Who are you?"

All six men instantly produce gins and aim them at Sato.

"Police."

Sato withdraws a filthy towel and wipes grease and sweat from her forehead. "We don't do gun repair."

.

.

.

OWEN HARPER, a short, thin man in his thirties strolls casually down the street. He is dressed conspicuously in a loud suit and tie with shoes that have no hope of matching.

He smokes a cigarette and chews gum at the same time. He happens to glance over his shoulder and notice a brown Ford sedan with four men in it cruising along the curb. He picks up his step a little. The Ford keeps up. He looks ahead at the corner. He tries to look as comfortable as he can, checking his watch as though remembering an appointment he is late for. The Ford stays right on him.

Suddenly, he bolts. He gets no more than a few yards before cars pour out of every conceivable nook and cranny. Brakes are squealing, radios squawking, guns cocking. Owen is surrounded instantly. He stops short and flaps his hands on his thighs in defeat.

.

.

.

.  
An attractive man and woman walk quickly through the front of a small New York cafe. They are charged with nervous, excited energy.

The man is JACK Harkness, a well dressed, sturdy looking man in his forties with slightly graying hair. He looks much better than he did in the opening scene.

The woman with him is identified as Rose Tyler, age twenty-three, poised and attractive - Easily the calmer of the two.

They come to a staircase at the back of the restaurant leading down to a dark room. Rose takes Jack's arm and stops him. "Let me look at you."

Jack is uncomfortable in his suit, or perhaps the situation. Still, he smiles with genuine warmth. Rose straightens his tie and picks microscopic imperfections from his lapel.

"Now remember, this is another kind of business. They don't earn your respect. You owe it to them. Don't stare them down but don't look away either. Confidence. They are fools not to trust you. That's the attitude."

"I'm having a stroke." Jack grimaces as he pulls the tie loose again and she sighs.

"You've come far. You're a good man. I love you."

Jack blinks then stammers, looking for a response. "What… what about ….him?"

"I can love both of you" she snorts "Where there is love, there is life. Live with it."

She kisses him and runs down the steps with Jack close behind. Jack playfully grabs her ass and she nearly stumbles down the stairs.

They come to the bottom of the steps giggling and jabbing each other. Once off the stairs they instantly transform as though hit with cold air. They assume a cool, professional exterior and walk two feet apart. One would look at them and see only two business associates here to ply their trade.

They walk across the dimly lit dining room to a table in the far corner where two men are already waiting. The first is Mr. Humphries, age thirty-five, the other is Mr. Chrysler, age sixty. Both men are impeccably dressed with a distinguished air. They stand and smile.

"Rose, nice to see you." Humphries bows slightly as he takes her hand.

"Sorry we're late." She simpers accordingly.

"Nonsense. Sit, please."

Chrysler is struggling with English "You must be Mr. Jack."

"I'm sorry. Jack Harkness."

Chrysler's hand is already out. "Monsieur Chrysler. A pleasure."

"How do you do?" They shake hands. Jack takes Humphries's hand next. "Monsieur Humphries. So nice to finally meet you."

Everyone sits at the table. All faces are smiling.

Rose's hand reaches out and finds Jack's leg under the table. Her hand runs high up his inner thigh and squeezes firmly. Her face is absolutely calm, giving no hint of what her hand is doing.

Jack smiles and clears his throat.

Unbeknown to him, downstairs there is a commotion at the back door. Five sets of feet arriving at the bottom of the stairs to the kitchens. The feet in the middle wear shoes notably nicer than the rest.

SPECIAL AGENT ANDREW DAVIDSON, CUSTOMS.

Thirtyish, blonde-haired and determined.

"Rose brought us your proposal and I'll be honest. We're very impressed." Humpgries says excitedly "A bit sceptical, I must admit, but impressed."

"Sceptical" Jack repeats.

Chrysler leans forward "We find the concept brilliant, but New York is difficult for new restaurants. How can we be certain that our money will be returned in the long run?"

Jack looks at Rose and smiles confidently as he replies "It's simple gentlemen, design versatility. A restaurant that can change with taste without losing the overall aesthetic. Our atmosphere won't be painted on the walls."

"This was the part of the proposal that intrigued us, but I'm not sure I follow."

"Let's say for example…" Jack begins but is interrupted.

"This I had to see myself."

Jack looks up. He sees Andy Davidson. Behind him are the very serious looking guys in suits. Jack is not happy to see them.

"Andy. I'm in a meeting."

"Time for another one." Andy smiles.

"This is my attorney, Rose Tyler." Jack is gesturing "This is Mr. Chrysler and Mr. Humphries. Everyone, this is Andrew Davidson"

"Special Agent Davidson. Customs." Andy corrects him and gestures to men behind him "These gentlemen are with the New York police department. You look great, Jack. Better than I would have thought."

"Is there a problem, Mr. Jack?" Chrysler blinks.

Davidson answers with a predatory grin "The small matter of a stolen truck- load of guns that wound up on a boat to Ireland last night."

Chrysler and Humphries's confusion is giving way to suspicion.

"Mr. Jack?"

"If you will excuse us for a moment, gentlemen." Jack sighs as he looks over at Rose.

"We need to ask you some questions downtown. You'll be quite awhile." Davidson chortles as Chrysler starts to get up.

"We should leave you to discuss whatever this is." Chrtser sats as he struggles to mve away.

"Please. Sit." Jack stands up and throws a wad of money on the table to cover the check. He looks at Rose. She moves to stand, but he sits her back down with a hand on her shoulder. "Enjoy the meal. I'll call you. "

Davidson takes him by the arm, but Jack yanks away.

He looks out over the dozens of other faces in the restaurant. Everyone is looking at him with some level of surprise. If Jack is humiliated by the whole affair, he hides it well.

.

.

.

A police officer opens the steel door.

A pair of slippered feet shuffle across the cement floor. The shoes are shabby and worn, as are the wrinkled pants that hang too low and loose at the cuffs. The right foot is turned slightly inward and falls with a hard limp. It is clear that the knee does not extend fully.

The sound of a steel door opening. The bottom corner of a steel cage comes into view. Another set of feet falls into step with the first. Another steel door and another set of feet. Another door, another and another. Five pairs of feet walk single file down the hall.

The lame feet are in the front of the line. They come to another steel door, this one solid and covered with dents and rivets.

Ifan Jones, IANTO to his few friends. He has a sad bland looking face, making his thirty-odd years a good guess at best.

From his twisted left hand, we can see that he suffers from a slight but not debilitating palsy. Behind him are Jack, Owen, Suzie and Toshiko Sato.

Ianto steps through the door, followed by the rest.

" _ **It didn't make sense that I be there. I mean these guys were hard-core hijackers, but there I was. At that point, I wasn't scared, I knew I hadn't done anything they could do me for. Besides, it was fun. I got to make like I was notorious."  
**_

The five people are ushered into the room in front of a white wall painted with horizontal blue stripes. Each has a number at either end to denote the height of the person in front of it.

Between these lines are thinner blue lines to tell the specific height in inches. Bright lights shine on all of them. They squint, eyes adjusting.

Jack leans forward a bit and looks at the men in line with him. He shares a look of familiarity with Owen and then Suzie. Sato smiles at all of them.

Suzie calls to Jack "Where you been, man?"

"SHUT UP IN THERE" A voice shouts over the intercom "Alright, you all know the drill. When your number is called, step forward and repeat the phrase you've been given. Understand?"

They all nod.

"Number one. Step forward."

Sato takes a step forward. She looks directly into a mirror on the other side of the room. It is three feet square and we can make out faint light behind it. It is a two-way. She speaks in a complete dead- pan. "Hand-me-the-keys, you… you …. Sorry do I have to cuss?"

"Number two. Step forward."

Suzie steps up and makes a gun with her thumb and forefinger. She mocks criminal intensity, pointing at the mirror. She camps up her line. "Give me the keys, you motherfucking, cocksucking pile of shit, or I'll rip off your…"

"KNOCK IT OFF. Get back in line."

Suzie steps back.

The rest of them do their bit as Ianto speaks. "But … they are girls…sorry … ladies, we all sound nothing alike!"

_**It was bullshit. The whole rap was a setup. Everything is the cops' fault. You don't put guys like that in a room together. Who knows what can happen?** _


	2. who's the gimp?

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT

Suzie sits in a chair in front of a white wall. She smiles at someone off-screen. "This has to be embarrassing for you guys, huh? I mean you know and I know this is a load of shit, but at least I don't have a captain with his dick in my ass making me play along. That has got to suck."

"Are you done?"

"Do you work for a broad? That would have to be the worst." Suzie sighs sympathetically.

"Are you done?"

"Still, I guess dignity is a small price to pay for medical and a pension. A small pension, mind you, but a pension nonetheless."

_**They drilled us all night. Somebody was pissed about that truck getting knocked off and the cops had nothing. They were hoping somebody would slip. Give them something to go on. They knew we wouldn't fight it because they knew how to lean on us. They'd been doing it forever. Our rights went right out the window. It was a violation. I mean disgraceful. They went after Suzie first. She was a good girl. Crazy though. A top notch entry man…. Woman… you know what I mean.** _

"So where'd you dump the truck?"

"What truck?"

"The truck with the guns, fucko."

"You kill me, you really do. Where's my phone call?" she laughs like they are all playing.

"Right here. Suck it out."

"Clever guy." Suzie snorts.

"You want to know what your buddy Owen told us?"

Suzie snorts, "Do I look stupid enough to fall for that? Jesus Christ. Beat me if you gotta, but no more of the candy-land tactics, man."

"WHERE'S THE FUCKING TRUCK?"  
.

.

.

Now Owen is in the seat. He sweats profusely.

"I want to call my lawyer. I don't know about any truck. I was in Connecticut all night on Friday."

" _That's not what Suzie said."_

"Who?" Owen asks with surprise as he looks up at the ceiling where the speaker is for the weird voice.

" _Suzie. She told us another story altogether."_

"Was it the one about the hooker with dysentery I swear, she never mentioned money until I came."

" _She told us about the truck"  
_

"To be honest, it was more like a mobile home. She made a lot of money."

" _Who took the guns off your hands?"  
_

"Hey, are we talking about the same thing?" Owen cants his head as he tries to understand the questions.

" _I'm losing my patience."  
_

_**Owen always worked with Suzie. She was a real tight-ass, but when it came to the job, she was right on. Smart girl. A gopher. Got whatever you needed for next to nothing.** _

He now knows they are lying, she would not do him like that, "You guys got nothing on me. Where's your probable cause?"

" _You're a known hijacker. You're sweating like a guilty motherfucker. That's my p.c. Save us the time. Tell us where the truck is."  
_

Owen knocks on the table. "HELLO? Can you hear me in the back?"

He looks under his chair. "Where is it? I'm lookin'. It's not happening. What's going on with that? I want …"

.

.

.

.  
Sato's turn in the chair. She laughs it all off. "… my lawyer. I'll have your badge, cocksucker. I know you. You don't think I know you're on the take. This whole fucking precinct is dirty. You don't have a fucking leg to stand on."

_**Sato was just a bad bitch, shocking to have a potty mouth when she came across like a little porcelain doll. A lot of men made the mistake of thinking she was one. Her act was good you have to give her that … Flawless lady. Good with explosives. Mean as a snake when it mattered.** _

" _You think so, lady? I can put you in Queens the day of the hijacking."  
_

"I live in Queens. What the fuck is this? You come into my store and lock me up in front of my customers. What the hell is wrong with this country? Are you guys gonna charge me or what?" she laughs.

" _You know what happens if you do another turn in the joint?"  
_

"I'll fuck your father in the shower. Charge me, dick-head. "

.

.

.

.

Now Jack sits in the chair, cool and indifferent.

_**Jack was the real prize for them, for obvious reasons.  
** _

" _I'll charge you when I'm ready."_

"With what?" Jack snorts, "Dangerously dressed? It's called fashion. Having a killer arse does not make for a charge."

" _You know damn well, dead-man."_

"Hey, that was your mistake, not mine. Did you ever think to ask me? I've been walking around with the same face, same name - I'm a businessman, fellas." Jack opens his arms to show indifference.

" _What's that? The restaurant business? Not anymore. From now on you're in the getting fucked-by-us business. I'm gonna make you famous, cocksucker."  
_

Jack shows just a flicker of contempt. The threat has hit home. "Like I said. It was all your mistake. Charge me with it and I'll beat it. Let's get back to the truck."

A FIST flies into the frame and connects with Jack's jaw.

His head snaps back, blood flowing freely from his mouth.  
.

.

.

.

Jack is brought in to a holding area where he joins Owen, Sato, Ianto and Suzie. He sits in a corner and keeps to himself. Owen is in mid-tirade.

"Somebody should do something. What is this shit - getting hauled in every five minutes? Okay, so I did a little time, does that mean I get railed every time a truck finds its way off the planet?" Owen rants.

Suzie is silently staring at Jack, who sits on a bench, looking away.

"These guys got no probable cause." Toshiko snorts.

"You're fuckin' A right, no P.C. Well screw P.C. No right. No goddamn right." Owen is pumping his arms as he paces with a wild sneer "You do some time, they never let you go. Treat me like a criminal, I'll end up a criminal."

"You are a criminal." Toshiko point out with amusement as she tucked her legs under herself to watch him rant.

Owen swings to gape at her "Why you gotta go and do that? I'm trying to make a point."

"Then make it. Christ, you're making me tired all over." Jack flops back with annoyance.

Suzie looks at Jack. "I heard you were dead, Jack."

"You heard right." He deadpanned, "I have a habit of it."

"The word I got is you hung up your spurs, man. What's that all about?" Toshiko asks.

"What's this?" Suzie frowns.

"Rumour has it, Jack's gone straight - cleaning house. I hear he's tapping Rose Tyler." Toshiko explains to her.

"Who?" Suzie settles next to her, just two girls gossiping.

"She's a heavy-weight criminal lawyer from uptown. Big-time connected. She could erase Dillinger's record if she tried. I hear she's Jack's meal ticket." Toshiko stage whispers then turns to Jack who is pretending to ignore them "Is it true?"

"What about it, Jack? You a lawyer's wife. What sort of "retainer" you giving her?" Suzie snorts and Jack shoots Suzie a fiery glare.

"I'd say you've gotten on his main and central nerve, Suzie." Owen says clinically.

"Do your friend a favour, Owen, keep her quiet." Jack says with a dark glare.

"You're clean, Jack? Say it ain't so. Was it you that hit that truck?" Suzie pokes at him.

"Forget her. It's not important. I was trying to make a point." Owen waves a hand at her as he addresses Jack.

Jack is ignoring Suzie as he says to Owen "This whole thing was a shakedown."

"What makes you say that?" Suzie demands.

"How many times have you been in a line-up?" Jack asks mater-of-factly "It's always you and four dummies. The P.D. pays homeless guys ten bucks a head half the time. No way they'd line five felons in the same row. No way. Let's not forget the male to female ratio here. And what the hell is a voice line-up? A public defender could get you off of that."

"So why the hell was I hauled in and cavity searched tonight?" Owen asks then looks at the others, "Tell me you lot were cavity searched too. Right? Huh?"

"It was the Feds." Jack rolled his eyes as he explains calmly "A truck load of guns gets snagged, Customs comes down on P.D. for some answers - they come up with us. They're grabbing at straws. It's politics - nothing you can do."

"I had a guy's fingers in my asshole tonight." Owen snarls, waggling a finger in the air.

"Is it Friday already?" Tosh gasps with glee.

"Fuck you. I'll never shit right again. So who did it? Own up."

"I don't want to know." Jack holds his hands out. "I don't' think any of us classifies as a male/female team."

"Nobody asked you, workin'-man." Suzie laughs.

Owen steps in front of Jack "Fuck who did it. What I want to know is, who's the gimp?"

ALL EYES suddenly turn on Ianto. He has been quietly listening the whole time without uttering a word.

"He's alright." Jack dismisses him.

"How do I know that?" Tosh demands as she unfolds to stare at Ianto "How about it, pretzelman? What's your story?"

"His name is Ianto Jones. I thought you guys knew him." Jack answers for him.

"Ianto?"

"Ifan really. Ianto is the childish version like Billy for William" Ianto sighs.

"We've met once or twice. Last time was in..." Jack struggles to remember.

"County. I was in for fraud"

"You were waiting for a line-up then, too. What happened with that?" Jack remembers.

"I walked." Ianto shrugged "Ninety days, suspended."

"So you did it?" Owen demands.

"What? Murder at the Disco? Or are you angry that we all seem taller ... even Ms Sato there" Ianto looks away from Sato, awaiting a violent response.

Everyone slowly starts to laugh. Owen looks as if he is about to boil in his own skin.

"Let it go." Jack warns and Ianto smiles at Jack appreciatively. Owen stands and walks to the toilet in the corner of the cell. He starts taking a leak.

Suzie starts talking "Look, we've all been put out by this, I figure we owe it to ourselves to salvage a little dignity. Now Owen and I got wind of a possible job –"

"Why don't you just calm down" Jack demands as Owen continues to glare around. "What do you care what he says?"

"Yeah, I'm just talking here, and Sato seems to want to hear me out. I know Owen is with me" Suzie argues then looks to Ianto "How about you, guy?"

Owen finishes pissing.

"I'm interested, sure" Ianto says as he looks at Jack who sighs and leans back again.

"There, so you see, I'm going to exercise my right to free assembly." Suzie taps the bars of her cell and the others LAUGH.

"I'm not kidding. Shut your mouth." Jack warns softly.

"You're missing the point." Suzie wants to push him.

"No, you're missing the point. Shut up. I don't want to hear anything you have to say. I don't want to know about your "job". Just don't let me hear you. I want nothing to do with any of you " Jack spits "I beg your pardon but all of you can go to hell."

"Jack Harkness, gone the high road. What is the world coming to?" Suzie and Jack stare at one another for a long and tense moment. Finally Suzie turns to the others.

"Forget him then." She tells them "Now I can't talk about this here in any detail, but listen up..."

Everyone but Jack gravitates toward Suzie's cell as she begins to speak in low, hushed tones.

_**And that was how it began. The five of us brought in on a trumped-up charge to be leaned on by half-wits. What the cops never figured out, and what I know now, was that these people would never break, never lie down, never bend over for anybody... Anybody.** _


	3. deals

PIER - PRESENT DAY

It is morning in the aftermath of the carnage. Harsh sunlight shines on a line of body bags on the dock.

Police swarm everywhere, photographers are taking pictures of the scene while a team of men in rolled up sleeves and plastic gloves pick at the remains.

Two men on a fire boat operate a water cannon, dousing the smoldering remains of a burned-out ship's hull.

Watching this from the edge of the pier is a woman in a dark suit. She is Special Agent Cooper of the F.B.I. She is curvy and fit, in her thirties. She gazes out over the water thoughtfully.

A uniform cop trots up to her. "Who are you?"

Cooper holds up her badge without looking at the man. "Agent Cooper, F.B.I. How many dead?"

Before the cop can answer, Cooper turns and walks along the line of body bags.

"Fifteen so far. We're still pulling some bodies out of the water." The cop says with annoyance now.

Cooper eyes the corpses on the dock, burned beyond recognition.

"Looking for anyone in particular?"

Cooper looks at the cop for the first time, unamused. "I don't want any of the bodies taken away until I've had a chance to go over this, understood?"

"I have to clear the scene. I've got word direct from the Chief."

Cooper lights a cigarette, only half listening. Snorts unimpressed "Yes, the chief. Spooky stuff. Any survivors?"

"Two. There's a guy in county hospital, but he's in a coma. The D.A. has the other guy - A cripple - from New York I think. Listen, the Chief said – "

"Excuse me" Cooper walks away from the cop, ignoring him completely. She wanders through the carnage on the pier.

"Bitch" the cop mutters as he stomps out the cigarette the woman dropped without a second thought.

.

.

.

.

A half mile out from the pier.

The sea is choppy, stirred by the wind. An object floats into view a few feet away, bobbing in the water.

It is a dead body - a man, face down, wearing a checkered bathrobe. He drifts quietly toward the open ocean.

.

.

.

Ianto Jones sits in a chair in front of a microphone attached to a tape recorder, his brow beaded with sweat.

On the wall behind him is the seal of the State of the United Planets.

He is cleaner, better kept, in a well-cut suit and neatly trimmed hair. He looks older than he did in New York - worn down.

A flurry of voices banter off screen. Ianto's eyes follow the voices back and forth.

VOICE #1 "My client offers his full cooperation in these proceedings. In exchange, his testimony is to be sealed and all matters incriminating to himself are to be rendered inadmissible."

VOICE #2 "The district attorney's office will comply provided –"

VOICE #1 "No provisions, nothing. My clients testimony for his immunity."

VOICE #2 "May-I be frank, Counsellor? I suspect your political power as much as I respect it. I don't know why Mr. Jones has so many faceless allies in City Hall, and I don't care. The embarrassment he helped cause the city of New York will not happen here."

VOICE #1 "Immunity."

VOICE #2 "Counsellor, I will prosecute your client."

VOICE #1 "Then prosecute. I will be very impressed to see if the District Attorney manages to bring in twenty- seven simultaneous counts of murder against one man with cerebral palsy. I would think a man with your job would agree with these alleged "faceless people in City Hall" you mention."

VOICE #2 "One would think the counsel is veiling a threat."

VOICE #1 "Counsel isn't veiling anything."

VOICE #2 "I'll take my chances then. I'll feel safer without a job if a man like Mr. Jones is behind bars."

VOICE #1 "Mr. Jones will plead guilty to weapons possession."

VOICE #2 "You're joking.

VOICE #1 "Weapons. Misdemeanour one.

VOICE #2 "Counsellor, you're insulting me."

VOICE #1 "Counsellor, you're bluffing. Shall I push for misdemeanour two?"

Voices mumble off screen. Ianto fidgets in his chair.

VOICE #2 "Misdemeanor one. Fine. This is ludicrous."

A tiny smile and a genuine look of disbelief flash across Ianto's face.

VOICE #2 (clearing throat) "As for the rest of the charges grand larceny, arson... murder - the district attorney will accept the subject's testimony in connection with the above mentioned events and in exchange will offer complete immunity. The transcript... The transcript of said testimony will be sealed and all matters incriminating to Mr. Jones will be rendered inadmissible."

Ianto lets out a long-held sigh of relief.

.

.

Andy Davidson is walking quickly beside Sergeant Rabin, a dark and weathered looking man in his late thirties. They move up a staircase into the heart of police headquarters.

"What do you mean I can't see him?" Davidson asks.

"The D.A. came down here last night ready to arraign before they even moved him to county. Jones's lawyer comes in and five minutes later, the D.A. comes out looking like he'd been bitchslapped by the boogey man. They took his statement and cut him a deal."

"Did they charge him with anything?" Davidson stalls on the stairs.

"Weapons. Misdemeanor two."

"What the fuck is that?" Davidson splutters.

Rabin motions for Davidson to lower his voice. He points out that they are walking through a bullpen filled with desks where a number of other police are working within earshot. "I give the D.A. credit for getting that much to stick. This whole thing has turned political. The Mayor was here - the chief - the Governor called this morning, for Christ's sake. This guy is protected - From up on high by the prince of fucking darkness."

"When does he post bail?"

"Two hours, tops." Rabin surmises.

"I want to see him." Davidson begs.

Rabin comes to an office door with his name on it. He opens it and lets Davidson in before following. "Andy, please."

Rabin's office can only be described as a disaster area. The desk is cluttered with weeks, perhaps months or even years of paperwork that could never conceivably be sorted out.

Above his desk is a bulletin board. It is a breathtaking catastrophe of papers, wanted posters, rap-sheets, memos and post-its. This is in the neighborhood of decades. Rabin is a man with a system so cryptic, so far beyond the comprehension of others, he himself is most likely baffled by it.

"Even if I was to let you talk to him, he won't talk to you. He's paranoid about being recorded and he knows the interrogation rooms are wired." Rabin warns.

"This won't be an' interrogation, just a... friendly chat to kill time." Andy is starting to get hopeful.

"He won't go into the interrogation room." Rabin starts to haggle.

"Someplace else, then."

"Where?"

Davidson looks around Rabin's messy office.

"No, no, no, no, no."

"If it was a dope deal, where's the dope, if it was a hit, who called it in?" Any asks as he chose a seat.

"And I am sure you have a host of wild theories to answer these questions." Rabin puts his feet up.

"You know damn well what I think."

"That's crazy, Andy and it doesn't matter." Rabin shrugs "He has total immunity and his story checks out. He doesn't know what you want to know."

"I don't think he does. Not exactly, but there's a lot more to his story. I want to know why twenty-seven men died on that pier for what looks to be ninety-one million dollars worth of dope that wasn't there. Above all, I want to be sure that Jack Harkness is dead." Andy argues.

"He's dead."

"Two hours. Just until he makes bail." Andy begs some more.

"They're all dead. No matter how tough you say this Jack was, no one on that boat could've made it out alive."

.

.

A door marked Intensive Care opens and the hallway is a flurry of activity.

Dr Lisa Hallett walks quickly beside Cooper. Cooper walks with all of the determination of a battalion of Chinese infantry. Dr Walters, a young intern in his late twenties rushes up to them.

Hallet greets him "Ridgly, this is Special Agent Jack Cooper from the F.B.I. Agent Cooper, this is Doctor Ridgly Waiters."

"Nice to meet you."

"Is he talking?' Cooper demands rudely like Ridgly hadn't spoken.

"He regained consciousness less than an hour ago. He spoke - not English - then he lapsed."

"Hungarian?"

"I don't..." Ridgly looks at Hallett with confusion.

"It was Hungarian. Most of them were Hungarians. Any fluent Hungarians on your staff?" Cooper is still barking at him.

"We have a Turkish audiologist." Ridgly opens a door and Cooper barrels through.

Cooper comes to an abrupt halt at the foot of a bed surrounded by a massive tangle of medical equipment. In the centre of it all is the as yet unnamed Ivan Kovash, mid-thirties. His body is nearly mummified in bandages and plaster from waist to chin.

The man croaks in a language no one understands "Police. He'll find out I'm here and he'll kill me. I need the police. I will tell them anything they want to know. Please, I am going to be killed."

"Will he die?" Cooper asks turning to Hallett.

"There's a chance." She nods.

Cooper walks over to Kovash and kneels down on the bed beside him. She looks closely at his battered and scalded face. She listens to him for a moment. Kovash goes on incessantly. The poor man repeating quickly " you idiot, I'm going to be killed, You'll all be killed if he has to do it. Help me, God. They're all stupid. Get someone who understands me or we're all going to die."

Cooper pulls a cellular phone out of her jacket and dials. "Call hospital security and put a man on the door until the police get here."

"you idiot? I'm not speaking English am I? Wouldn't it make sense to find someone who could talk to me so you could find the person that set me on fire, perhaps? He is the Devil. You've never seen anyone like Keyser Soze in all your miserable life you idiot. Keyser Soze. Do you at least understand that? Keyser Soze. The Devil himself. Or are you American policemen so stupid that you haven't even heard of him. Keyser Soze, you ridiculous man. KEYSER SOZE."

Ridgly runs out of the room. Kovash babbles louder and louder, trying to get Cooper's attention. Cooper sticks a finger in one ear to block him out and hear the phone.

"Is he dangerous?" Hallett steps back with concern as she watches the man fight his restraints and continue to rant in the strange language.

"Yes."

Someone picks up on the other end of the phone.

"Joel, it's Cooper. I'm down at county. The guy they pulled out of the harbour is IVAN Kovash... Yes, I'm sure... No, he's all fucked up... What? I can't hear you. (to Ivan) Shut up, fatso, I'm on the phone. (into Phone) Yes... No... Not until I put someone on him. Listen, I need you to send me someone who can speak Hungarian. He's awake and talking like a Thai hooker... How should I know? Get me someone who can talk to him …"

Cooper is suddenly distracted by something Kovash has said. In the middle of a long string of unintelligible dialect, he has spouted two words that have gotten Cooper's attention. She turns and looks down at the tattered man in the bed. Kovash realizes Cooper is listening and says the two words again.

"Keyser - Soze."

"What?" She waves her hand, gesturing for Kovash to say it again.

"Keyser - Soze."

"No shit?" Cooper gapes at him then shouts down the phone "Joel, call Dan Metzheiser over at Justice and find Andy Davidson from Customs."


	4. moving things into place

Rabin walks out of a small room. Behind him, we catch a glimpse of a workroom with a bench covered with wires.

Davidson comes out a moment later, gently fixing his tie.

Rabin opens the door to his office and Davidson enters. Rabin follows, looking up and down the hall before closing the door behind them.

As the door closes we can just make out the back of Ianto's head. He is seated in Rabin's office, smoking a cigarette.

Davidson and Rabin sit down across from Ianto.

"Ianto, you know we're trying to help you." Davidson implores.

"Sure. And I appreciate that."Ianto nods "And I want to help you, Agent Davidson. I like cops. I would have liked to have been a Fed myself but my C.P. was …"

"Ianto, I know you know something. I know you're not telling us everything."

"I told the D.A. everything I know." Ianto frowns with confusion.

Rabin stands over Louis in the next room, a messy looking technician at his workbench in a room full of electronic equipment. He adjusts several dials on a receiver until the voices of Davidson and Ianto come clearly through a tinny speaker on the wall.

Rabin reaches over for a nearby pot of coffee.

"I know you liked Jack. I know you think he was a good man." Andy is trying to sound sincere.

"I know he was good." Ianto replies with remorse.

"He was a corrupt cop, Ianto."

"Sure. Fifteen years ago, but he was a good thief anyway. The cops wouldn't let him go legit." Ianto bristles as he glares at him. "We all read that file."

"Jack was a piece of shit."

"You trying to get a rise out of me, Agent Davidson?"

"I just want to hear your story." Andy opens his arms to give Ianto the floor.

"It's right here." Ianto replies as he taps a finger on the stack of paper that Davidson brought in. Davidson picks it up and thumbs through it.

"According to your statement you are a short-con operator. Run of the mill scams. Everything you do, you learned from somebody else."

"That's been suppressed. Anything in there is inadmissible." Ianto folds his arms looking smug.

"Oh, I know. Sweet deal you have. Total immunity."

Ianto is laughing nervously "Well I do have the weapons charge. I'm looking at six whole months hard time."

"You know a dealer named Ruby Deemer, Ianto?"

"You know a religious guy named John Paul?" Ianto counters.

"You know Ruby is in Attica?"

"He didn't have my lawyer." Ianto shrugs.

"I know Ruby. He's very big on respect. Likes me very much." Andy smiles back and Ianto sees this getting to something. His smile fades.

"Now I know your testimony was sealed." Andy can see the fragile man is wavering, his hands twisting in his lap like he might wet himself "Ruby is well connected. He still has people running errands for him. What do you think he'd say if he found out you dropped his name to the D.A.?"

"There's nothing in there about Ruby."

"I'll be sure to mention that to him." Andy snorts and Ianto is not smiling anymore. He stares at Davidson with utter contempt, knowing he is being shafted.

"The first thing I learned on the job, know what it was?" Andy is starting to enjoy this "How to spot a murderer. Let's say you arrest three guys for the same killing. Put them all in jail overnight. The next morning, whoever is sleeping is your man. If you're guilty, you know you're caught, you get some rest - let your guard down, you follow?"

"No."

"I'll get right to the point. I'm smarter than you. I'll find out what I want to know and I'll get it from you whether you like it or not."

"I'm not a rat." Ianto shakes his head visibly upset now. Davidson puts his hand on the transcript of Ianto's confession.

Rabin walks in with a cup of coffee. Ianto takes it with his good hand and sips it with a relish. "Ahhh. Back when I was picking beans in Guatemala we used to make fresh coffee. Right off the trees I mean. That was good. This is shit, but hey..."

"Can we get started again?" Rabin asks.

"Now what happened after the line-up?" Ianto sneers at Davidson, unable to change the subject like he had hoped...or was he just thinking.

.

.

.

.

SIX WEEKS PRIOR

Jack stops at the top of the front steps of the police station and lights a cigarette. Rose comes out behind him, fuming mad. "...and the desk Sergeant is actually trying to tell me he can't release you? Can you believe that? You weren't even charged. New York police - Jesus. I want to take pictures of your face to bring to the D.A. first thing in the morning."

"Just forget about it."

He looks across the street and sees Owen and Suzie talking by a newsstand. Suzie is thumbing through magazines.

"Absolutely not." She spits, "even tried to say I was sleeping with you. Like … we can't be friends?"

Jack looks to his right and sees Sato trying to hail a cab.

"I'll have this thing in front of a grand jury by Monday." Rose nods with finality.

"Rose, please. I don't want to hear this right now. What did Chrysler and Humphries say?"

"They want more time to think about investing" she pouts.

"Goddamn it."

Rose tries to soothe her old friend "They just said they wanted time."

"Time for what, Rose? Time to look into me a little more, that's what. No matter how well you cover my tracks now, they'll find out who I am. The piece of tech is off-world by now and we both know it."

Rose huffs "Give me some credit. I got you this far, let's go to the grand inquisitors. This is never going to stop if we …"

"No. It's never going to stop, period." Jack cuts her off "It won't take more than a week before  
every investor in this city is walking away from us. It's finished. I'm finished. I should have listened to your Doc."

Just then, Ianto bumps into him on his way out the door. He excuses himself and hobbles down the steps, oblivious to who he has bumped into as he tries to navigate the stairs.

"Don't give up on me now, Jack." She sighs, "Don't prove he Doctor right about your attention span."

"They'll never stop."

Ianto gets to the sidewalk and stops. He turns, realizing it is Jack on the steps. Jack and Ianto look at one another for a moment. Jack then looks over to the newsstand and sees Owen looking at him.

Suzie notices Owen and glances up from her magazine to see what he is looking at.

"Come home with me, please. Jack?" Rose implores.

Jack looks at Sato who has one foot in a cab. She is looking at Owen and Suzie who are looking at Jack. This makes Sato look up at Jack as well. Rose tunes in to what is going on. She notices the  
others on the street. She reaches over and takes Jack by the arm, pulling gently. She glares at the others. "Come home, Jack the Doctor might have a plan?"

"Alright."

Ianto looks at everyone else from where he stands on the street.

Owen, Suzie and Sato all look at him and then at each other. It is a strange moment of unspoken understanding. All eyes finally turn to Jack, high on the front steps of the police station as he walks away with Rose.

.

.

.

Ianto stands in front of an apartment door. He hesitates for a long moment before he knocks.

After a moment, the door opens and Jack stands on the other side of it. He is wearing a bathrobe and smoking a cigarette.

He looks at Ianto without any expression whatsoever. "What are you doing here! How did you find me?"

"I just asked one of the detectives downtown. He seemed pretty happy to tell me."

Jack curses under his breath and motions for Ianto to come in.

Ianto walks in and sits down on the couch, watching Jack cautiously. He looks around the large apartment, beautifully furnished and decorated.

Rose walks into the room in a man's button-down shirt and sweat pants. "Who was at the …"

She stops when she sees Ianto. Ianto stands and smiles nervously. "How do you do?"

"Ianto, this is Rose Tyler. Rose, this is Ianto Jones, he was at…"-

Rose answers coldly "I know who he is."

"I hope I didn't disturb you."

"I hope so, too, Mr. Jones. Can I get you something to drink?"

"A glass of water would be nice." Ianto blinks at her slowly, clearly not the full quid here folks.

Rose shoots a look at Jack on her way out of the room.

Jack tries to hush his voice despite his anger. "What the hell do you want?

"I wanted to talk to you. The other guys …"

"I did you a favour by standing up for you last night, but don't think we're friends. I'm sorry, but I have other things …"

"They're gonna do a job. Three million dollars, maybe more." Ianto blurts out, then slaps a hand over his mouth with wide eyes.

Jack is speechless. Ianto sits on the couch again.

"They sent me to offer you a cut. We could use a fifth man - a driver - That's all you'll do." Ianto hisses.

Rose walks in with a glass of ice water and hands it to Ianto.

"Thank you."

Ianto drinks slowly. Rose stands over him, her face blank.

It is an awkward moment. She deliberately makes Ianto uncomfortable. Long pause – finally "So what is it you do, Mr. Jones?"

"Umm..."

"A hijacker like Jack, here? Or something more creative?"

"That's enough, Rose."

She angrily snarls "I don't know what you came here for, but we won't have any part of it."

"Rose, please." Jack takes Rose by the arm and tries to guide her toward the other room.

She pulls away, anger turning to rage. "I've spent the last year of my life putting his life back together again - I won't have you come in here and - What makes you think - GET OUT. GET OUT OF MY HOME. HOW DARE YOU COME HERE?"

Jack is pulling her now. She yanks her arm away and shoves him.

"Don't touch me. Just don't…"She turns and walks out of the room. Somewhere in the back of the apartment, a door slams. Jack turns and glares at Ianto. Ianto cringes.

"Get out."

"If you'll just let me …"suddenly Jack lunges. He grabs Ianto by the lapels and lifts him off the couch, moving him effortlessly across the room and slamming him into the wall next to the front door.

He opens it.

"Don't hurt me." Ianto whimpers with fear.

Jack is seething "Hurt you, you sonofabitch? I could kill you."

Jack starts to shove Ianto out the door.

"They're going to hit the Taxi Service."

Jack freezes.

LONG PAUSE.

"New New York's Finest Taxi Service." Ianto repeats.

"They - That's bullshit. They don't operate anymore."

"Suzie has a friend in the Fourteenth Precinct. They're coming out for one job - Thursday. They're picking up a guy smuggling emeralds out of South America. Owen and Suzie have a fence set to take the stuff."

"What fence? Who?" Jack's hands have moved from the lapels to Ianto's' throat, the left thumb brushing his Adams apple. I don't think he knows he is doing it.

"Some guy in California. His name is Bobby Blowfish".

"Never heard of him." Jack moves to throw Ianto out. Ianto grabs Jack and holds tight.

"You have to come." Ianto begs.

"What's with you? What do you care whether I come or not?"

"They…" Ianto takes a breath to steady himself "… They don't know me. You do. They won't take me unless you go. Look at me. I need this."

"Tough break."

"Don't tell me you don't need this. Is this your place?"

Jack is unable to answer.

"They're never going to stop with us, you know that. This way we hit the cops where it hurts and get well in the mean time." Ianto tries another tactic.

Jack lets Ianto go and steps back, thinking.

"As clean as you could ever get, they'll never let you go now. I'm not knocking you. You look like you've got a good little scam going with this lawyer…" Ianto is on a roll … WHAM. Jack punches Ianto in the stomach and drops him to one knee. Ianto coughs and tries to find his breath.

"You watch your mouth."

Ianto is gasping on the floor "Okay, okay. You say it's nothing, you are just friends kinda thing? That's cool."

Jack reaches for Ianto. Ianto flinches. Jack gently helps him up and guides him to the couch. They bath sit.

Jack reaches for a pack of cigarettes and lights one for each of them. "I apologize."

Ianto takes one and has a few drags, catching his breath and rubbing his stomach in pain. Finally "I was out of line."

"You okay?"

"I'll be alright." Ianto grimaces.

"Well, I'm sorry." Jack says with sincerity.

"Forget it." Ianto sighs "I'll probably shit blood tonight."

Jack laughs. Ianto thinks about it for a moment and laughs with him. Jack's laughter trails off. He thinks for a moment. "How are they going to do it?"

"Suzie wants to go in shooting. I said no way."

"Owen and Sato?" Jack leans forward.

"They're pretty pissed off. They'll do anything. Now I got a way to do it without killing anyone: but like I said, they won't let me in without you." Ianto splays his hands out to show he is being honest and Jack considers.

"Three million?"

"Maybe more."

"No killing?" Jack raises an eyebrow as he glances at the closed bedroom door, Rose listening on the other side judging by the shadow under the door.

"Not if we do it my way. " Ianto smiles, knowing he has everything under control.

Things are all set now.


	5. Taxi anyone?

_**New York's finest Taxi Service was not your normal taxi service. It was a ring of corrupt cops in the N.Y.P.D. that ran a high-profit racket, driving smugglers and drug dealers all over the city. For a few hundred dollars a mile, you got your own black and white and a police escort. They even had their own business cards. After a while, somebody started asking questions and the taxi service shut down. Ever since then, Internal Affairs had been waiting to catch them in the act.** _ **  
**

Oscar stands on the curb long enough to light a cigarette. After a moment, a Police Cruiser pulls up to him. He opens the back door and gets in.

_**And that was how we started. Suzie came to us with the job; Owen got the vans; Toshiko supplied the hardware; I came through with how to do it so no one got killed - but Jack - Jack put on the finishing touch. A little "Fuck you" from the five of us to the N.Y.P.D.  
** _

The car drives out of the airport. A van follows at a distance.

Sergeant Jim McDougal, a meaty, imposing looking man in his forties drives the car. Beside him is a thin, greasy looking patrolman, Steve Cameron. They are two drivers for New York's Finest Taxi Service.

"How was the flight?" Cameron asks as Oscar hands Cameron a thick envelope.

"Will that get me to the Pierre?"

Cameron counts the stack of hundred dollar bills in the envelope. "That'll get you to Cape God."

The two men laugh. McDougal watches the road, expressionless. The cruiser heads towards the heart of Manhattan.

The police car makes its way down a wide, abandoned street. A white minivan pulls out behind it and heads the same way. McDougal looks in the rear-view mirror. The white minivan is flashing his high-beams.

"What the..." Cameron frowns then shouts "LOOK OUT."

McDougal looks in front of him. A green minivan swerves in front of them from out of nowhere. McDougal slams on the brakes and skids to a halt. The white minivan rams them from behind.

McDougal and Cameron are stunned for a moment as two more vans screech up on either side of the cruiser, boxing it in with only a few inches between them.

The cruiser is surrounded on all sides.

Suddenly shotgun barrels come through the open windows. They come to rest, one on McDougal's left temple one on Cameron's right. Cameron looks out of the corner of his eye. He sees the driver of the van next to him holding the shotgun with one hand. A stocking is over the driver's head.

McDougal looks straight ahead. The minivan in front of them is missing a back window. Another man with a stocking on his head aims a sub-machine gun at them from inside.

By the twisted right hand holding the front of the gun, we know it is Ianto. McDougal and Cameron raise their hands without being asked.

The driver of the white van gets out with a gallon jug in one hand and a sledge hammer in the other.

Moving like lightning, he jumps onto the roof of the police car. He stands on the front of the roof and swings the hammer down.

SMASH

The hammer punches three huge holes in the windshield and finally it caves it in. McDougal and Cameron are covered with pebbles of broken glass. Whitehead clutches his bag in the back seat. He trembles in terror.

The man standing on the roof doubles over and sticks a gun in McDougal's face. His face hangs upside down and looks gruesome - covered from the mouth up in a stocking. By the voice, we know it is actually Suzie in a boiler suit.

"GIVE ME THE SHIT." the snarling barked demand is not from a man at all.

"Give it up." McDougal demands and Oscar hands the suitcase up front then McDougal passes it to Suzie.

Through the front windshield of the front van we see Jack at the wheel. Ianto is behind him leaning out the back window. Beneath Jack's stocking mask we see he is trembling and sweating - sickened by what he is doing. He glances up at the rear-view mirror and looks at the scene outside. He looks down at the floor in shame, shaking his head.

Suzie reached for the money. McDougal looks at Cameron.

"THE MONEY. LET'S HAVE IT."

Cameron hands the money through the remains of the windshield.

Suzie takes the money and stuffs it in the front her boiler suit as it flaps open showing her red jacket and shapely torso. She steps back and takes the cap off of the gallon jug. She quickly pours some kind of liquid all over the roof of the car.

"Do you know who I am?" McDougal roars.

A hand reaches into the driver's side window and rips McDougal's badge off of his shirt.

McDougal dares to turn his head right at the shotgun pointing at him through the window. On the other end is a masked and smiling Toshiko.

"We do now, Jerk-off." Toshiko snarls.

Suzie lights a pack of matches and drops them on the roof of the car as she jumps off. The liquid ignites, the roof of the car is instantly in flames. McDougal and Cameron attempt to bail out, but the vans are too close for them to open the doors. The vans pull away.

McDougal and Cameron escape from the car. Oscar is trapped inside, SCREAMING. McDougal and Cameron stop, each expecting the other to go let Oscar out. His scream takes on a weird inhuman sound as his fear takes over and later they would tell people that they could swear his face changed colour, green.

.

.

.  
The scene is swarming with fresh police cars. McDougal and Cameron are fielding questions from a dozen other cops. Photographers are everywhere. The papers got Jack's call that day and were on the scene before the cops were. McDougal and Cameron were indicted three days later. Within a few weeks, fifty more cops went down with them. It was beautiful. Everybody got it right in the ass, from the chief on down.

.

.

.  
Toshiko, Owen, Suzie and Ianto are all laughing in a secluded garage. They are still in their black clothes from the robbery. Toshiko is throwing everyone a can of beer. Jack sits off by himself. He watches the others, unable to join in the festivities. The others sit around a cheap card table. It is covered with emeralds. Dozens of them. Everyone is in awe.

"There's more than I thought." Suzie points out with awe.

"When does the fence come?" Toshiko asks as she picks one up.

"Bobby Blowfish? He never comes to see me. I have to go see him." Suzie shrugs like it's no big deal even as the room goes still.

"In California?" Ianto finally asks.

"Yeah. It'll take a few days. Me and Owen."

"Hold the fuckin' phone." Toshiko rises from her chair "You and Owen? No, no, no."

"Guys, come on."

"I'm sure you can understand my hesitation." Toshiko looks around the room with growing annoyance.

Owen leans back and asks "Then who goes?"

"We all go. How about it, Jack?" Toshiko declares and all eyes turn to Jack. He comes out of his trance.

"We need to lay low for a while." He reminds them.

"Fine with me." Suzie throws her hands in the air, obviously not fine at all really.

PAUSE

Everyone looks at each other, their moment of distrust blowing over. All eyes drift back to the emeralds on the table. Toshiko begins to snicker, then Suzie, then Owen. Ianto joins in at last. Suzie grabs Ianto and hugs him, shaking him violently. "My boy with the plan."

SUDDENLY, everyone yells and pours beer over Ianto's head. He laughs as he is drenched in white foam, nearly choking as the others chant his name.

Jack watches from across the room, trying to smile in vain.  
.

.

.

LAW OFFICE - DAY

Jack and Ianto sit side by side on a sofa. A sign on the door behind them reads: MONTGOMERY and TYLER - ATTORNEYS AT LAW.

"We're going to miss the flight." Ianto hisses.

"We'll make it."

"Don't do this. Send her a card - something."

"We'll make it." Jack repeats as he gives Ianto a look. Ianto looks away.

"Ms. Tyler will be with you in a moment." A woman says snidely and Jack stands and paces across the waiting room. He comes to a set of glass doors and looks through them. Jack realizes he is standing on a balcony overlooking a library below. He sees Rose working in the library with an old woman. The two women talk for a moment.

Suddenly Jack turns with a start. Ianto is standing behind him. "We're gonna miss the plane. (beat) She'll understand."

Rose is smiling and laughing with the old woman. Jack's face is marked with guilt and anguish. Jack turns and walks out of the waiting room. Ianto takes one last glance at Rose and turns back to Jack.

Rose seems to sense something behind her. She turns and looks through the glass doors and up into the waiting room. NOTHING IS THERE. She goes back to chatting with the old woman.

.

.

.  
"Heart-warming. Really, I feel weepy." Andy says drolly to the weed of a man who is cringing at his sarcasm.

"You wanted to know what happened after the line-up, I'm telling you." Ianto whimpers.

"Oh come on, Ianto. Who do you think you're talking to? You really expect me to believe he retired? For a woman?" Andy laughs "Bullshit. He was using her."

"He loved her."


	6. another?

"Sure. And I'm supposed to believe that hitting the Taxi Service wasn't his idea either." Andy nods with an eye roll.

"That was all Owen and Suzie." Ianto defends suddenly leaning forward with a surprising anger.

"Come on. Jack was a cop for four years according to this file. Who else would know the Taxi Service better? That job had his name all over it."

"You keep trying to lay this whole ride on to Jack. It wasn't like that. Sure he knew, but Rose had him all turned around. I'm telling you ... straight, I swear."

"Let me tell you something." Andy leans forward too and Ianto shrinks back like the coward he is "I know Jack Harkness. I've been investigating him for three years. The guy I know is a cold-blooded bastard. L.A.P.D. indicted him on three counts of murder before he was kicked off the force, so don't sell me the hooker with the heart of gold."

"You got him wrong."

Andy cants his head "Do I? Jack was under indictment a total of seven times when he was on the force. In every case, witnesses either reversed their testimony to the grand jury or died before they could testify. When they finally did nail him for fraud, he spent five years in Sing Sing. He killed three prisoners inside - one with a knife in the tailbone while he strangled him to death. Of course I can't prove this but I can't prove the best part either."

Andy pauses to drink some coffee.

"Jack was dead. Did you know that? He died in a fire two years ago during an investigation into the murder of a witness who was going to testify against him. Two people saw Jack enter a warehouse he owned just before it went up. They said he had gone in to check a leaking gas main. It blew up and took all of Jack with it. Within three months of the explosion, the two witnesses were dead, one killed himself in his car and the other fell down an open elevator shaft."

Rabin and Louis look at one another as they listen.

Andy continues to speak with a bored tone "Six weeks ago I get an anonymous call telling me I can find Jack eating at Mondino's with his lawyer, and there he is. Now because he never profited from his alleged death and because someone else was convicted for the murder we tried to pin on Jack, we had to let him go. He was dead just long enough for a murder rap to blow over, then he had lunch."

"I don't know about that."

"I don't think you do. But you say you saw Jack die. I think you're covering his ass and he's still out there somewhere. I think he was behind that whole circus in the harbour. My bet is he's using you because you're stupid and you think he's your friend. You tell me he's dead, so be it. I want to make sure he's dead before I go back to New York."

Ianto blurts out "He wasn't behind anything. It was the lawyer."

"What lawyer?" Andy is suddenly interested again.

Pause.

"What lawyer, Ianto?"

Ianto stammers for a moment, looking around wildly. "Back when I was in that barber shop quartet in Skokie, Illinois I used to have…"

Andy grabs Ianto's shirt and yanks him half out of his seat. "You think I don't know you held out on the D.A.? What did you leave out of that testimony? I can be on the phone to Ruby Deemer in ten minutes."

"The D.A. gave me immunity."

"NOT FROM ME, YOU PIECE OF SHIT. THERE IS NO IMMUNITY FROM ME. You atone with me or the world you live in becomes the hell you fear in the back of your tiny mind. Every criminal I have put in prison, every cop who owes me a favour, every creeping scumbag that works the street for a living, will know the name of Ianto Jones. You'll be the lowest sort of rat, the prince of snitches, the loudest cooing stool pigeon that ever grabbed his ankles for the man. Now you talk to me, or that precious immunity they've seen so fit to grant you won't be worth the paper the contract put out on your life is printed on."

Ianto looks at Andy with utter contempt then mutters sullenly "There was a lawyer. Kobayashi".

"Is he the one that killed Jack?"

"No. But I'm sure Jack's dead."

"Convince me. Tell me every last detail." Andy settles back once more.

.

..

.  
Kovash's room is now filled with people. Cooper stands next to Dab, a balding man in his forties. Next to him is Doctor Hallett. Across from her is Ridgly Walters.

Sitting beside the bed is a casually dressed woman in her late twenties. She holds a 15x20 inch drawing pad on her lap. Police fill the hall. People are talking loudly outside. A cop in his mid-twenties pushes his way in.

"Are you the translator?" Cooper demands.

"Patrolman Lionel Bodi, Ma'am."

"Agent Cooper, this is getting out of hand."

"I'll see to it we're gone before he blows his porch light, Doctor." Cooper gestures to Tracy. "This is Tracy Fitzgerald. She's a composite sketch artist from county."

The young couple smile at one another nervously.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"I've got a noon meeting, Cooper." Someone mutters.

"Agent Cooper, please." Doctor Hallett demands impatiently.

"Everyone calm down." Cooper huffs then turns to Bodi "Ask this man about the shoot-out in the harbour."

Bodi gobbldey gooks something and Kovash smiles with relief when he hears his own language. "but at last I can talk to you."

"F.B.I. She is here to help you." Bodi points at Cooper who is impatiently waving her hand to hurry him up "She wants to know what happened in the harbour."

"We have the money to take him back to Hungerfid viz the third rell." he snarls.

"He says they were buying. It doesn't make sense. I'm sorry, I'm a little rusty. They were there to buy something."

"Dope, we know." Cooper snorts.

"God help me, they are all idiots." Kovash sighs talking slowly "We were there to buy a man, you simple girl. A witness. I don't know his name. A witness who knew the Devil."

"Not dope. Something else. Some what?." Bodi tells them "He doesn't know what they were buying. But not dope... people."

"Even say it slow enough for you to understand it. Just tell this man I want protection. Real protection." Kovash hisses.

"Your witness is whacked, Cooper." Metzheiser snorts.

"He says he'll tell us everything he knows if we protect him." Bodi looks at her.

"Tell him fine."

"I believe this from the ridiculous woman?" Kovash laughs softly "I am going to be killed. I have seen the Devil and looked him in the eye."

"No good. He needs guarantees." Bodi frowns, "He says... his life is in danger... He has seen the Devil... looked him in the eye."

"I'll be on my way" Metzheiser grunts as Cooper grabs Metzheiser by the arm.

Cooper growls to Bodi "Tell him to tell this man what he was telling me before. Who is the Devil? Who did he see?"

"Shooting everyone in sight." Kovash says with wild eye, "He insane. Soze!"

Metzheiser is suddenly interested.

"He says he saw him in the harbour. He was shooting... Killing... Killing many men." Bodi repeats.

"Did he say Keyser Soze? He saw Keyser Soze?"

Kovash is excited, frantic as he clutches at Bodi's shirt "I seen his face. I see it when I close my eyes."

"He says he knows his face. He sees it when he closes his eyes."

Metzheiser leans forward over the foot of the bed "Ask him what this Devil looks like."

"Ready?" Cooper asks and Tracy holds up her pad and pencil. She nods.

.

.

.

_**Suzie's fence was this guy named Bobby Blowfish. He had a good reputation around L.A. Seemed like a good guy - Looked like a cowhide full of thumbtacks. Fishy looking bloke, ya know?  
** _

All five stand in a group. It is utterly quiet. An old but well kept Cadillac creeps into the lot from the far end and idles up to them. The windows are tinted too much to see in. The car passes within a few feet of them and drives on.

A moment later, a chrome and leather monster of a Harley pulls into the lot. The rider is dressed in an almost comical array of leather, silver and suede. And a huge helmet like a bobble head.

He waves to the Caddy as it parks a few yards from Jack and the others. It sits quietly, almost menacing.

As he gets closer, we can see he is wearing one black boot and one red. Jack is still looking at them when the bike pulls up to them and stops.

Bobby Blowfish and Suzie shake hands.

"How've you been?" Bobby grins.

"Good. You?"

"Alright. How's it going, Owen?" Bobby looks past her and nods at the other one he recognises.

"Getting by."

"You got it?" Bobby turns to her again and Suzie holds up a briefcase. Bobby Blowfish takes it and gets off the bike. He walks over to the Caddy. The door of the Caddy opens. Bobby Blowfish hands the case to someone inside that we cannot see. The door closes.

"Snazzy dresser this guy." Jack whispers and the others snort. A moment later, the door of the Caddy opens again. Someone hands Bobby Blowfish a different briefcase and he walks back over to Suzie.

He hands her the case.

Suzie hands the case back to Toshiko. Toshiko opens it, revealing the stacks of money inside.

"You must be Jack."

"Jesus, I'm sorry. Bobby Blowfish, this is Jack Harkness, that's Toshiko Sato, and that's Ianto Jones."

Bobby turns to Ianto "The man with the plan."

Ianto smiles.

"Are you guys interested in more work?" Bobby asks and Suzie moves to answer, but Jack cuts him off.

"We're on vacation."

"I've got a ton of work and no good people."

"What's the job?" Suzie asks.

Jack shoots Suzie a foul look. Suzie pretends not to notice.

Bobby pretends not to notice either as he begins to talk "A jeweller out of Texas named Saul. He rents a suite at a hotel downtown and does free appraisals. Buys whatever he can. Word is he moves with a lot of cash. I'll take the merchandise, you keep the green."

"Security?" Toshiko is interested now.

"Two bodyguards. Pretty good."

"Give us time to check it out?" Suzie asks.

"I'd expect nothing less." Bobby bows politely.

"We'll call you."

"Take your time. Enjoy L.A."

"A friend of mine in New York tells me you knew Spook Hollis" Jack suddenly speaks.

"I hear you did time with old Spook." Bobby nods "Yeah, he was a good egg. I used to run a lot of dope for him. Fuckin' shame he got shivved."

"I shivved him."

Now Suzie is shooting the angry look at Jack. "Better you hear it from me now than somebody else later."

"Business or personal?"

"A little of both."

"Ain't it a crime? Call if you're interested." Bobby Blowfish fires up his bike and takes off with the Caddy close behind.

Suzie speaks to Jack "What's your fucking problem?

"One job that was the deal."

"Take it as it comes, brother."

"This is bullshit."

Suzie laughs and walks away. Owen and Toshiko follow.

Ianto turns to Jack. "What is it Jack?"

Jack seems distant "Something - I don't know. (shaking himself) I ever tell you about the restaurant I wanted to open?"

Jack walks off. Ianto follows him in confusion.


	7. the suzie sting

__**L.A. was good for about two hours. We were from New York. There's no place to eat after one; you can't get a pizza that doesn't taste like a fried fruit-bat, and the broads don't want to know you if you don't look like a broad. Within a few days the last of us was ready to go back to N.Y., but Jack wouldn't have it, so we really didn't have a choice. We went to work.  
**  
.

.

.  
Suzie walks along a line of cars. The dress is form fitting and expensive. She comes across a black Mercedes and stops. She looks down at the license plate and walks over to the next car, a green Honda. She pulls a slimjim out of her jacket and pops the lock on the Honda, reaches in and opens the hood. Walks around and sticks her head in the engine.

Ianto sits behind the wheel of the van watching. Jack is beside him. Toshiko and Owen are in the back. They all watch Suzie from where they are parked a few dozen yards away.

DING-DING

The elevator bell sounds at the far end of the garage. The doors open. Two men in ill-fitting suits get out and look around cautiously. The first is Tucci, a big bellied, white haired menace. The other is Higham, lean and bad skinned. They are bodyguards and give it away by their every careful move.

They turn back to the elevator and motion to someone inside. Out walks Saul Berg, a slightly overweight man in his forties with an open collar silk shirt and a thick gold chain on his hairy chest. He carries a large aluminium briefcase. He lets his guards do the worrying. He walks straight to his car.

Saul passes Suzie under the hood of the Honda. He takes out his keys and pushes a button on his key chain. The Mercedes beeps three times and tells Saul his alarm is off.

Tucci keeps an eye on Suzie… or her arse. Higham watches Saul.

Suzie pretends to tinker with the car's engine. She has put a pistol just inside the grill and keeps it within reach. The van on the other side of the garage starts and pulls out of the spot. It cruises over toward the Mercedes. Tucci sees the van. He and Higham are suddenly busy trying to keep track. They hear laughing behind them and turn around.

Owen and Toshiko are walking towards them. They are sporting moustaches and sunglasses in addition to matching suits, each with loud plaid sport coats, decades out of style. Saul glances at Tucci and Higham who are gaping at the weird sight. Toshiko chose a handlebar one that is slipping.

"Just get in the car Saul." Highman says slowly.

Under the hood of the Honda and out of sight, Suzie pulls on a black ski mask. The van gets closer.

"I get out of the car" Toshiko says in a loud laughing voice "and man if the thing wasn't wrecked. And I see this broad in the back seat with nothing on."

Saul gets in the car quickly but calmly as Owen and Toshiko laugh and talk louder. They look drunk - The desired effect.

"I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe…"

Tucci and Higham try to take it all in stride. Saul's reverse lights come on and he begins to back out of the spot.

"...And the fat guy comes out of the car with his pants on backwards and says …" Toshiko slaps her thigh as she laughs.

Suddenly, the van revs and screeches to a halt behind Saul's Mercedes, blocking him in. Toshiko and Owen drop the drunk act and snap to. They both pull out guns and start screaming.

"DON'T MOVE, YOU FUCKERS."

"RIGHT THERE. FREEZE." Owen adds.

Suzie comes up from under the hood. Tucci and Higham throw their hands in the air. Toshiko and Owen grab them and reach into their belts to get their guns.

Jack jumps out of the van and runs up to Saul's car, his face covered in a ski mask. He yanks on the door handle but it is locked. Saul sits in terror behind the wheel. Jack pulls out a pistol and smashes the window with it. "Give me the case."

Saul reaches over for the case. Jack trains the gun on him. Suddenly, Saul comes up with a pistol and points it at Jack. Jack sidesteps and grabs his wrist. The gun goes off into the fender of the Honda.

Toshiko and Owen both look over at the sound of the gun.

Tucci and Higham seize the opportunity. Tucci grabs Toshiko, Higham grabs Owen. They grapple for the guns. Owen's gun falls to the floor. Suzie picks it up. She trains a pistol on each bodyguard and takes a breath. They are some ten feet apart and moving erratically. Toshiko and Owen constantly fall in the line of fire.

Suzie walks around them, keeping a pistol trained on each of the guards. Finally she comes to an angle where they are all in front of her. One guard is a few feet away, the other is ten feet past her. The closer of the two moves in and out of the sights of the pistol in Suzie' right hand, the one farther away does the same with the left.

Ianto gets out of the van and moves towards them to help.

BOOM

Both of Suzie' guns go off like one shot. Tucci and Higham collapse, each with a bullet in his head splattering purple blood like a spray from a hose.

PAUSE

The only sound is Saul grappling with Jack for the gun. His arm is halfway out the window. His elbow rests in the door frame. Jack cannot get the gun out of his hand. Finally, he pushes down with all his weight. Saul's elbow breaks backwards on the door frame. He screams in agony. The gun falls from his hand.

All five look at each other for an impossibly long moment. The confusion is only aggravated by Saul's screaming. Slowly, Jack raises his pistol and aims it at Saul. His hand trembles, his eyes squint to near slits. His finger tenses and slacks off over and over again on the trigger.

BOOM

IANTO SHOOTS SAUL.

Jack looks at him in surprise as the being shudders and dies. Ianto trembles more than he does.

The garage is silent.

"What the hell?" Owen snorts.

"Bad day" Suzie agrees "Fuck it."

DING-DING

The elevator light comes on. All five look.

"Move." Jack reaches into the car and grabs Saul's case. Everyone else piles into the van. Jack gets in as Ianto is driving for the exit.

The mood in the van is grim. Everyone is silent. Jack pops the clasps on the case and opens it. "Son of a bitch."

Everyone looks in the case. It is filled with cash on one side. The other side is filled with clear plastic bags of white powder.

.

.

.

.  
Jack and the others stand in silhouette in front of the lights of an oncoming car in the distance. We can make out Suzie loading a gun.

"What are you doing?" Jack asks.

Suzie replies without looking up "What does it look like? I'm going to kill him."

"We did it your way. Now I'll deal with him"

Suzie finally looks up. Why? You gonna kill him?"

"I'm going to deal with him."

The car, Bobby Blowfish's escort Caddy, is now in front of them. The horn lets out three short blasts. Bobby Blowfish comes around from behind the Caddy on his motorcycle. He gets off the bike, trying to hide a faint smile. Suzie throws Saul's case on the ground in front of him.

"What the fuck is this, Bobby Blowfish?"

"Get a grip. I didn't know."

"You didn't know." Jack repeats.

"The job got thrown to me by this lawyer." Bobby holds his hands up to show he is telling the truth.

"Who is he?"

"Some Limey. He's a middle-man for somebody. He doesn't say and I don't ask."

"We want to meet him."Jack demands.

Bobby looks surprised "He wants to meet you. He called last night and asked me to set it up. What do I tell him?"

"Tell him we'll meet."

"If you're lying, Bobby Blowfish..." Suzie warns.

"Suzie, you're a real bad-ass, but get off my tip."

Suzie lunges for Bobby Blowfish.

The Caddy doors instantly pop open and rifle barrels come into view from within.

Owen and Toshiko draw guns and aim at the Caddy. Jack and Ianto grab Suzie and hold her back. Bobby Blowfish gets on his Harley, smiling defiantly.

"Real shame about Saul getting whacked." Bobby grins "Lot's of cops looking for the guys that did it. I'm sure they'll get around to asking me."

He starts his bike.

"Fuck you." Suzie sneers.

Bobby Blowfish drives off. The Caddy waits until he is completely out of sight before following.


	8. who?

"We know the body count from that, the sprinkler system of the parking garage washed away most evidence. So this lawyer..." Andy prompts as Ianto seems to stall out.

"Kobayashi."

"Came from Bobby Blowfish." Andy nods as it's confirmed.

"Right. "

Andy frowns "And why leave this out when you talked to the D.A.?"

Knock at the door. Rabin sticks his head in. "Someone to see you, Agent Davidson."

Andy steps out into the hall, shutting the door behind him.

Andy smiles instantly, recognizing the one standing with Rabin. "Gwen. What are you doing here?"

"I've been looking all over for you." Cooper smiles back "You still after the coke that walked out of that blood bath in the harbour?"

"Yeah."

"You can stop looking. There was no coke. I've been in L.A. county with a guy they pulled out of a drainpipe in San Pedro yesterday after the shoot-out. He came to this morning and started talking. He was part of a Hungarian mob there to do a deal with a bunch of goats from Argentina. He says it was definitely not a dope deal."

"There was ninety-one million…" Andy argues.

"We know, but our man says no way on the dope. This Hungarian tells me the whole bunch was pulling stumps for Turkey the next day. They had no time to negotiate that kind of product and no means to move it."

"What was the money for?" Andy glances back at the door to his office.

"He didn't know. No one doing the deal knew except a few key people. This guy says they were real hush about it. Whatever it was it was highly sensitive."

"I don't get it." Andy is confused and it shows.

"They tell me you got the cripple from New York in there." Cooper points "He mention Keyser Soze?"

"Who?"

"Bear with me here..."

.

..

BOOM - The door bursts open.

"Who is Keyser Soze?"

Ianto looks up in shock. He drops his cigarette and trembles at the mere mention of the name. "Ahhh fuck."

.

.

.

.

HOLLYWOOD ATHLETIC CLUB - DAY - TWO WEEKS PRIOR

Jack stands while the rest sit and listen. "So I need to know if anyone can think of anybody. Somebody with power. Enough to possibly track us from New York."

Suzie stands "Look. We've been over it for an hour now. I say we pack up and run. Let's go back to New York. At least get out of L.A."

The sound of a man clearing his throat. Everyone turns to the door behind them. MR. KOBAYASHI a tall, slim, well groomed man stands in the hall. He has a briefcase in his hand. He smiles politely.

"Mr. Harkness?"

Jack stands back and lets him in. Kobayashi looks them over.

I am Dr. Kobayashi. Please call me Doctor. I've been asked by my employer to bring a proposal to you gentlemen. That must be Ms. Sato. I recognize Mr. Harper from his mug shot, as well as Ms. Suzie." Then he turns to Ianto "I can only assume that you are Mr. Jones. I believe you were the one who disposed of Saul. My employer sends his gratitude. A most unexpected benefit."

Everyone looks at one another in shock that he would know this.

"What can we do for you?" Jack asks after a moment.

"My employer requires your services. One job. One day's work. Very dangerous. I don't expect all of you to live, but those who do will have ninety-one million dollars to divide any way they see fit."

"Who's your boss?"

"My Master wishes to remain anonymous."

"Don't jerk me off. We all know what this is. You don't work with me if I work with you without knowing who I'm working for. Now let's cut the shit. Who's the man?"

"I work for Keyser Soze."

A strange look crosses Jack's face. Scepticism, mockery and just a hint of fear. Toshiko, Suzie and Owen all share similar looks. "What is this?"

"Who's Keyser Soze?" Ianto asks innocently.

"I am sure you've heard a number of tall tales, myths and legends about Mr. Soze. I can assure you gentlemen, most of them are true."

"Who's Keyser Soze?" Ianto repeats.

The Doctor looks at him with sympathy "Judging by the sudden change in mood, I am sure the rest of your associates can tell you, Mr. Jones. I have come with an offer directly from Mr. Soze. An order actually."

"An order." Jack repeats slowly.

"In nineteen-eighty one, Jack, you participated in the hijacking of a truck in Buffalo, New York. The cargo was raw steel. Steel that belonged to Mr. Soze and was destined for Pakistan to be used in a Nuclear reactor. A very profitable violation of U.N. Regulations. You had no way of knowing this, because the man shipping the steel was working for Mr. Soze without his knowledge." The Doctor then turns his head "Owen and Suzie hijacked a twin-prop cargo flight earlier this year out of Newark airport. The plane was carrying platinum and gold wiring. Also set for Pakistan."

Kobayashi turns and points at Toshiko. "Two months ago, Toshiko stole a truck carrying gun parts through Queens"

Everyone looks at Toshiko. She smiles shyly. It occurs to them all that she robbed the truck for which they were all arrested in the first place. "guns allegedly set to be destroyed by the state of New York. They were to be "lost" in a weigh station and routed to Belfast. Again, Mr. Soze using pawns who had no knowledge. (turning to Ianto) Which brings us to Mr. Jones."

Ianto crumbles under his stare.

"Nine months ago, one of Mr. Soze less than intelligent couriers was taken in a complicated confidence seam by a cripple. He was relieved of sixty-two thousand dollars worth of … things. Now... (to all of them) It has taken us some time to find you. Our intention was to approach you after your apprehension in New York."

"You set up the line-up." Jack accuses as he sees what is happening.

"Mr. Soze made a few calls, yes. You were not to be released until I came to see you. It seems Mr. Jack's attorney, Ms. Tyler, was a bit too effective in expediting his release. Holding the rest of you became a moot point."

"What about Bobby Blowfish?" Jack asks.

"Mr. Bobby Blowfish knew nothing. Mr. Soze rarely works with the same people for very long, and they never know who they're working for. One cannot be betrayed if one has no people."

"So why tell us?" Owen asks.

"Because you have stolen from Mr. Soze. That you did not know you stole from him is the only reason you are still alive, but he feels you owe him. You will repay your debt." The Doctor told the one he knew was also a doctor, if only by medical school as he was thrown out before graduation.

"Who is this guy?" Toshiko splutters as she sees Owen's discomfort "How do we know you work for Soze?"

"I don't think that is relevant, Toshiko. The five of you are responsible for the murder of Saul Berg and his bodyguards. Mr. Bobby Blowfish can attest to your involvement, and we can see to it that he will. He is not of your "superior" breed."

"This is a load of shit." Suzie snorts as she decides to dismiss this.

"The offer is this, ladies and gentlemen. Mr. Soze's primary interest, as I am sure you all know, is narcotics. He's been - competing shall we say, with a group of Argentinians for several years. Competing with Mr. Soze has taken its toll. These Argentinians are negotiating the sale of ninety-one million dollars in cocaine in three days time. Needless to say, this purchase will revitalize the diminishing strength of their organization. Mr. Soze wants you to stop the deal. If you choose, you may wait until the buy. Whatever money changes hands is yours. The transaction will take place on a boat in San Pedro. Mr. Soze wants you to get to the boat and destroy the cocaine on board. Then you are free of your obligation to Mr. Soze."

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now." Jack sneers.

Kobayashi smiles and puts his briefcase on the table in front of him. "A gift from Mr. Soze"

He turns and walks out of the room.

Jack walks over to the case and opens it. He reaches in and pulls out five thick manila envelopes, each marked in bold black letters. "JACK", "SUZIE", "TOSHIKO", "OWEN" and "JONES".

Jack pulls out the files, revealing a map underneath.

Jack hands each one their file. He opens his first. He pulls out a thick stack of papers and thumbs through them. "Jesus Christ. Open them."

All of them open their files. Inside are mug shots of each in their respective file as well as a printout of criminal record. But there is more.

"They know everything." Toshiko whispers as a photo of some weird piece of tech falls for her fingers.

"This is my life in here. Everything I've done since I was eighteen." Suzie gapes.

Owen agrees "Everybody I ever worked with, did time with."

"They fucking know everything."

Jack pulls out a large black and white photograph of himself and his lawyer Rose Tyler. They are laughing arm in arm by a fountain in New York. He hides the photo from the others. "This is not right."

"I don't know. Who was that guy that used to talk about Soze in New York?"

"Bricks Marlin." Suzie remembers after a moment.

"Yeah." Owen points at her "He said he did jobs for him. Indirect stuff. Always five times more money than the job was worth."

"Come on. The guy is a pipe dream." Jack argues "This Kobayashi is using him for window dressing."

"I don't know. This is bad." Owen looks at his file again.

"It's bullshit." Toshiko argues "This guy could be L.A.P.D. I think it's a setup."

"The way I hear it, Soze is some kind of butcher. No pity." Owen sneers at her.

Jack throws his arms up "There is no Keyser Soze."

Ianto thumbs through his file. A long list of names, numbers, addresses. It is a detailed portfolio of his entire criminal and personal life. He looks up at Jack. "Who is Keyser Soze?"


	9. family values

Andy leans into Ianto's face. He hangs on his every word.

"He is supposed to be Turkish. Some say his father was German. Nobody believed he was real. Some even said he was an alien. Nobody ever saw him or knew anybody that ever worked directly for him, but to hear Kobayashi tell it, anybody could have worked for Soze. You never knew. That was his power. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. One story the guys told me - the story I believe - was from his days in Turkey. There was a petty gang of Hungarians that wanted their own mob. They realized that to be in power you didn't need guns or money or even numbers. You just needed the will to do what the other guy wouldn't. After a while they come to power, and then they come after Soze He was small time then, just running dope, they say...

.

.

.

SOZE'S HOME

Three of the Hungarians come bursting into Keyser Soze's home. They grab his five children and round them up in the front room. One of the men grabs his wife and back-hands her across the face.

_**They come to his home in the afternoon looking for his business. They find his wife and kids in the house and decide to wait for Soze.  
** _

The front door opens and in walks Keyser Soze. We are never allowed to see his face.

Soze's wife lies in the corner, beaten and bruised. Her dress is tattered to shreds. She cannot look up at her husband. The three Hungarians stand to greet him. Two hold guns in their hands. The third holds a straight razor. He grabs Soze youngest boy and holds the razor to his throat.

_**He comes home to his wife raped and his children screaming. The Hungarians knew Soze was tough. Not to be trifled with. So they let him know they meant business.** _

The Hungarian smiles. Soze's wife screams in horror. The Hungarian holds up a blood soaked razor. Suddenly, he grabs another child. A little girl no older than six.

_**They tell Soze they want his territory - all his business. Soze looks over the faces of his family... Then he showed these men of will what will really was.  
** _

SUDDENLY, Soze pulls out a pistol and shoots the two men with guns. He turns and aims at the third man holding his child.

The man threatens to cut the child's throat, slicing just enough to draw blood.

SOZE FIRES.

The stunned Hungarian watches the child fall from his arms.

Soze turns the pistol on the next child, then the next and the next. He kills his children one by one in front of the Hungarian.

_**He tells him he would rather' see his family dead than live another day after this.  
** _

SOZE walks over to his wife, crying and beaten on the floor and holds up her head. She gives him the strangest look. One of trust perhaps, saturated with fear and humiliation.

He puts the gun between her eyes and fires.

_**He lets the last Hungarian go, and he goes running. He waits until his wife and kids are in the ground and he goes after the rest of the mob. He kills their kids, he kills their wives, he kills their parents and their parents' friends.  
** _

A dark and looming figure of a man walks in front of a wall of fire - a black shadow blurred by waves of heat.

_**He burns down the houses they live in and the stores they work in, he kills people that owe them money. And like that he was gone. Underground. No one has ever seen him again. He becomes a myth, a spook story that criminals tell their kids at night. If you rat on your pop, Keyser Soze will get you. And nobody really ever believes.** _

"Do you believe in him, Ianto?" Andy asks softly with wide eyes.

"Jack always said: "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is Keyser Soze."

.

.

Cooper and Rabin listen to Ianto on the speaker with one ear.

"You give this any weight, Agent Cooper?"

"I can introduce you to Dan Metzheiser from Justice. He has a file on Soze in D.C. It's been a hobby of his for a few years. A lot of guys equate him to that reporter on the Incredible Hulk."

"Had you heard of him before?"

Cooper nods "On the street? A few times. Outside stuff. Somebody was working for a guy who was working for a guy who got money through Keyser Soze. That kind of shit. Could be an old badge. A hex sign to keep people from fucking with you back when a name meant something. People disappear…like off the face of the earth."

"But you're here."

"Shit yeah." She snorts "I got a guy trying to walk out of the hospital on a fried drumstick to get away from SOZE. I'll run it up the flagpole."

.

.

"I came clean." Ianto whimpers "I told it like it happened on the boat. So what if I left out how I got there? It's got so many holes in it, the D.A. would've told me to blow amnesty out my ass. So you got what you wanted out of me. Big fucking deal."

"And this is why you never told the D.A."

"You tell me, Agent Andy Davison bigshot. If I told you the Loch Ness Monster hired me to hit the harbour, what would you say?"

Andy seems to consider then says "Turn state's evidence. Take the stand on this and we'll hear it out."

"I've got immunity now. What can you possibly offer me?"

"If there is a Keyser Soze he'll be looking for you."

"Where's your head, Agent? Ianto looks horrified "Where do you think the pressure's coming from? Keyser Soze - or whatever you want to call him - knows where I am right now. He's got the front burner under your ass to let me go so he can scoop me up ten minutes later. Immunity was just to deal with you assholes. I got a whole new problem when I post bail."

"So why play into his hands? We can protect you."

"Gee, thanks, Andy. Bang-up job so far. Extortion, coercion. You'll pardon me if I ask you to kiss my pucker. The same fuckers that rounded us up and sank us into this mess are telling me They'll bail me out? Fuck you. You think you can catch Keyser Soze? You think a guy like that comes this close to getting fingered and sticks his head out? If he comes up for anything, it will be to get rid of me." Ianto laughs hollowly then "After that, my guess is you'll never hear from him again."

.

.

.  
Doctor Hallett watches from out in the hall. Kovash spits out a constant river of Hungarian while Bodi tries to keep up, relaying everything to Tracy Fitzgerald.

She sketches frantically while Daniel Metzheiser looks on.

The composite sketch of Keyser SOZE is taking form.

"The nose is sharper. Smaller too." Bodi is relaying "He says the hair is longer and lighter."

.

.

.

.

Waves pound across a stone jetty. A man sits fishing while his young son, Brando strolls toward the open sea.

He pokes at rocks and seaweed with a fishing pole. He glances down at something wedged between the rocks beneath his feet.

He pokes at it. He notes the chequered pattern of the fabric entwined with the twisted mess. It is the bloated carcass of the man in the chequered bathrobe. Brando pokes it's eye with the fishing pole. It pops.

.

.

.

.  
"That was how I ended up in a barber shop quartet in Skokie, Illinois." Ianto smiled wistfully.

"This is totally irrelevant."

"Oh, but it's not. If I hadn't been nailed in Illinois for running a three card monte in between sets, I never would have took off for New York. I never would have met Jack, see. That barber shop quartet was the reason for everything." Ianto argues.

"Can we just get back to Kobayashi?"

"The quartet is part of the bit about Kobayashi. The quartet was in my file, along with every other thing I had done since high school, see? Aliases, middlemen. They knew me better than I did. They knew all of us."

Andy looks at his watch. "You're stalling, Ianto."

"Give a guy a break, huh?"

"What happened?"

Ianto slumps a bit. He realizes his stalling tactic has failed. "We woke up the next morning and Owen was gone. He couldn't handle the idea of slumming for Soze. He left a note wishing us good luck and took a chunk of the money we'd scraped together."

"Then what?"

"Suzie was furious. She was talking about tracking him down and ripping his heart out and all sorts of shit. That night we got the call."

"What call?" Andy interrupts.

"Kobayashi told us where we could find Owen."

.

.

.  
Jack looks out over the ocean and smokes a cigarette. "What do you want to do with him?"

Suzie kneels in the sand. Toshiko and Ianto stand behind her, staring at something in front of them.

It is the body of Owen Harper, literally peppered with bullet holes. Suzie stares at him, fighting any flicker of emotion. "I worked five years with Owen. More jobs, more money than I can count."

"I'm sorry, Suzie." Jack sighs.

"I want to bury him."

"No time."

Suzie springs to her feet and points a pistol at Jack. Jack turns to face her and raises his head. Suzie might as well be pointing a feather-duster. "YOU WILL FIND TIME. You're not the only one with debts, man."

"No shovel."

"WITH OUR HANDS." She screams.

Everyone digs in the sand on the deserted beach with their hands. They are up to their waists in the hole they have scooped out. Owen's body is a few feet away.

"This is nuts." Toshiko pants.

"Dig."

This is fucking dry sand. When he rots, the surfers'll smell him from a hundred yards out" Toshiko points out.

"DIG, YOU FUCKER."

Toshiko can see that Suzie has truly gone over the edge for now. Jack gives her a look that says don't argue. "Jack, we gotta go. They're gonna find him."

"Dig." Jack hisses.

"What are we gonna do?" Ianto sobs.

"I can run. I got no problem with that." Toshiko replies.

"They don't seem to have a problem with it either." Jack agrees.

"Nobody runs." Suzie is beside herself now.

"This ain't my boy we're burying. I don't owe anybody." Toshiko replies.

"We got a deal here."

"Since when?"

"Since tonight."

"Fuck that." Toshiko snorts.

"It's payback."

"IT'S NOT PAYBACK." Jack roars at her, then say softer "I don't answer to you. It's precaution. You want payback? You want to run? I don't care. I'm going to finish this thing. Not for Owen, not for anybody else, but for me. This Kobayashi cocksucker isn't going to stand over me. (beat) All of you can go to hell."

Jack turns and digs furiously with both hands. Toshiko takes a moment and slowly starts to do the same.

The four dig for Owen. The first to find some rest.

.

.

.

.

Ianto stops speaking and asks for water, obviously upset at the memory of his part in the man's death and burial.

He needs a moment.


	10. getting nasty now

Ianto smokes with his good hand shaking badly.

Andy is losing his patience "And after they killed Owen nobody would run?"

"I wanted to. I thought we could make it."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I tried, believe me, but Jack wouldn't have it. It was too far- fetched for him. Jack was a grounded guy. An ex-cop. To a cop, the explanation is never that complicated. It's always simple. There's no mystery on the street, no arch-criminal behind it all. If you got a dead guy and you think his brother did it, you're going to find out you're right. Nobody argued with Jack. They just set their minds on whacking Kobayashi."

.

.

Bobby Blowfish's Harley rests on the roof of the Caddy in a mangled heap. The body of the Caddy is riddled with bullet holes.

Bobby Blowfish's dead body has been shoved head-first through a hole in the windshield up to his waist, recognizable only by the trademark red boot.

.

.

.  
Kobayashi walks through the front door of a plush office tower followed by two bodyguards. He heads toward the elevator, failing to notice Toshiko a few feet away, reading a newspaper.

We see a wire running from Toshiko's ear to her collar. "He's coming up."

Jack, Suzie and Ianto stand by the six elevators on the fortieth floor. They are all wearing khaki overalls and tool belts with walkie-talkies. They look like servicemen.

All of the elevators have been propped open and stranded.

Suzie moves into one of the elevators. As the doors close behind him, she scrambles for the ceiling hatch.

Jack and Ianto listen for anything on the radio.

The elevator opens. Kobayashi and his bodyguards get on the elevator.

The elevator is empty except for the three men. Suzie has vanished. Kobayashi presses a button and they are on the way. SUDDENLY, the ceiling hatch opens and Suzie' arm comes out. POP - POP. Two shots from a suppressed pistol and the guards drop to the floor, DEAD.

Kobayashi looks up with surprising calm into Suzie' barrel.

"Press forty." She snarls.

The elevator opens and Kobayashi is greeted by Jack and Ianto. Suzie drops from the ceiling hatch and pushes him out.

Ianto and Suzie grab the dead bodies and drag them out of the elevator. They drag them to the next elevator which has been forced open, revealing an empty shaft.

"The answer is no." Jack says calmly like they had met for coffee.

"Mr. Soze will be most…"

"Listen to me, cocksucker. There is no Keyser Soze. If you say his name again, I'll kill you right here."

"A strange threat. I can only assume you're here to kill me anyway. Pity about Mr. Bobby Blowfish."

"Fair trade for Owen." Suzie shrugs as the elevator opens and Toshiko steps out.

"Ahh, Toshiko. Do join us."

"We know you can get to us, and now you know we can get to you. I'm offering you the chance to call this off. "

"Mr. So- My employer has made up his mind. He does not change it."

"Neither do we."

"You got Owen, you may get more, but you won't get us all. Not before one of us gets to you." Suzie threatens as she watches Jack consider something.

"I believe you, Suzie. I quite sincerely do. You would not have been chosen if you were not so capable, but I cannot make this decision. Whatever you can threaten me with is... ludicrous in comparison to what will be done to me if... " the Doctor is interrupted as Suzie hold up her hand for silence.

"Just so you know. I'm the guy. I'm the one that's gonna get through to you."

"I am sorry, Suzie." He shakes his head and tones to Jack "I implore you to believe me, Jack. Mr. Soze is very real and very determined."

"We'll see." Suzie holds a pistol to Kobayashi's chin. The lawyer's cool eyes never falter.

"Before you do me in, you will let me finish my business with Ms. Tyler first, won't you?"

Suddenly, Jack grabs Suzie' hand and pulls the gun away before he can shoot. "What did you say?"

"Rose Tyler. She is upstairs in my office for an extradition deposition. I requested she be put on the case personally. She flew out yesterday."

Everyone looks at Jack.

"No matter. Kill away, Suzie"

Jack is practically slathering "You're lying."

"Am I?"

Everyone follows Kobayashi quietly down a dimly lit, oak lined hallway. Ianto holds a small pistol discreetly in the small of Kobayashi's back. They come to a glass office foyer. Kobayashi gestures and everyone looks through the glass into the lobby beyond. Rose Tyler is talking casually with the receptionist.

Rose glances toward the men in the hall. Jack turns quickly on his heels, facing the others. From where Rose stands, it looks as though Kobayashi is talking to a group of harmless maintenance men.

They see a large man dressed very much like the two dead bodies left in the hall downstairs. The man notices Kobayashi and the others. He stands and stares menacingly.

"Ms. Tyler's escort in Los Angeles. Never leaves her for a moment. I thought you'd like to know she was in good hands."

Jack's mind races for an alternative. He can find none.

Ianto lowers his gun without being told. He nods to Jack who takes a breah, a new plan afoot.

"Get your rest, Ladies and Gentlemen. The boat will be ready for you on Friday. If I see you or your friends before then, or fail to check in every half hour with that unpleasant looking man in there, Ms. Tyler will find herself the victim of a gruesome violation before she dies. As will your mother, Toshiko and your Uncle Randall in Arizona, Suzie. I might only castrate Mr. Jones' nephew, David. Do I make myself clear?"

All of those surround Kobayashi, aching to kill him.

"I'll take care of the dead men downstairs. We'll add them to the cost of Owen. Now if you'll excuse me." Kobayashi walks into the office. Rose turns to greet him.

Jack slowly turns and watches as they shake hands and talk.

Kobayashi says something they cannot hear and Rose laughs, her back to the window.

Kobayashi smiles over her shoulder at Jack. All the while, the bodyguard watches Jack. He nods politely before Jack and the others leave. Ianto watches for a moment more and follows.

.

.

.  
Jack, Ianto, Toshiko and Suzie sit in a rented sedan overlooking San Pedro harbour.

Another file from Kobayashi's briefcase is laid out on the dashboard. This has a map and a good fifty pages of information in it.

"It's a logistical nightmare." Jack ribs his face and groans "Close quarters, no advance layout, ten men, maybe twenty."

"Can we stealth these guys?" Toshiko asks.

Jack shakes is head "Doubtful. With all that coke, they'll be ready - which brings me to sunny spot number two. Even if one of us gets through and jacks the boat, we get nothing."

"And if we wait for the money?" Suzie asks.

Jack considers then responds with a grimace "Ten more men at least. In my opinion, it can't be done. Anyone who walks into this won't come out alive."

"I'm for waiting for the money." Suzie is adamant.

"Me too." Toshiko nods.

"Did you hear what he just said?" Ianto is incredulous.

"If I'm going in, I want a stake." Toshiko is now seriously considering things as she stares at Jack like he might be holding out or something and Suzie steps in beside her.

"So do I."

Ianto is shocked by what he is hearing. He looks at Jack as if to ask him for his decision.

Jack's cold stare is all the answer Ianto needs. He slumps in his seat, resigned to the others. "I just can't believe we're just gonna walk into certain death."

PAUSE

They all suddenly realize the weight of their situation.

Finally Suzie says "News said it's raining in New York".

No one knows quite how to respond.


	11. BOOM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chap 9 hadn't posted the bugger ... is rhere now and important to this

PIER - SAN PEDRO - NIGHT

A large boat, sleek and yacht-like, but without finesse. This is a boat for business - heavy and fast. It is moored to the pier. A large crane hoists a pallet of fuel drums from the dock. It swings slowly over the boat. A man on the dock yells in Spanish to the crane operator.

Behind an old and weathered boat in dry-dock, Jack and Ianto watch the boat from the shadows.

"What are they speaking?" Ianto whispers.

"Russian, I think. I don't know." Jack considers and shrugs.

"Hungarian?" Ianto wonders as he cans his head and moves slightly to listen. "Alien? Is it... Huntral?"

Jack reaches out and pokes his arm "Knock it off. Can't they be human for a change?"

Suzie is climbing up the side of the boathouse. She wants to see a large boat. A very large boat.

Toshiko manoeuvres through a mesh of twisted steel, arriving at a vantage point near the stern of the large boat.

A black van pulls up and parks near the crane. Four men in suits get out. One remains with the van and the other three walk toward the boat.

On the boat, five men come up from below deck. They are tense and cautious around the men in suits. Someone speaks in Spanish and someone else in Russian. It takes a moment before anyone speaks the same tongue. They settle on French for both negotiators.

Toshiko sits in the van. She handles a large shoulder bag stuffed with plastique. She tests a timer on top. She picks up a walkie-talkie. "Are we ready, kids?"

Suzie is positioning herself on the roof of the boathouse. She stops and grabs her radio. "If I didn't have to stop and answer you, I would be."

Jack hisses into the radio "Everyone shut up. I'm ready. Suzie, you better be set up in ten seconds."

"I'm there."

Jack turns to Ianto "I want you to stay here. Understand?"

"But I'm supposed to …"

"If we don't make it out, I want you to take the money and go."

Ianto looks confused "Jack, I can't just …"

"I want you to find Rose. Both of you find some place safe. Tell her what happened - Everything. She knows people. She'll know what to do. If we can't get Kobayashi my way, she'll get him her way." Jack is calm even as Ianto starts to flap.

"What if I …"

"Just do what I tell you." Jack turns and takes a few steps. He stops and looks back, his face marked with guilt and agony. "Tell her I... Tell her I tried."

Jack leaves before Ianto can respond. He walks down a ramp toward the boat. He is no more than a few yards out of the shadows before the first man sees him.

One of the men in suits starts to yell to the others. Men pull out guns and try to look as cool as they can.

Jack walks right into the face of all of these men, undaunted. His hands are in his pockets.

Above him, in the darkness, Suzie pokes her head out and spies Jack. She pulls her head back and sticks out the barrel of the rifle.

Jack comes to a stop about twenty feet from fifteen men all together.

Suzie stares through the scope of her rifle at the scene. The cross-hairs breeze past Jack and find a target. A man in a suit.

"Pow." She whispers as she pretends to shoot.

She moves to another and then another, picking up speed and mock-shooting the men. She is steady and quick. It is clear she could take all fifteen in a few seconds.

"Pow-pow-pow-pow-pow-pow. Oswald was a fag."

The men shout questions at Jack in a number of languages. A few men standing on the dock near the stern of the large boat, move towards the commotion. Toshiko bails out and runs quickly and quietly through the shadows, bringing the bomb with her.

Ianto remains in the darkness, looking frightened.

Suzie still wanders with her scope. "Old McDonald had a farm, ee-aye, ee- aye, oh. And on this farm he shot some guys. Ba-da-bip, ba-da-bing, bang-boom."

Finally two men walk right towards Jack. The rest train guns on him. They reach for his arms, pointing their guns right at him.

At the far end of the dock, Toshiko throws her bomb onto the stern of the large boat.

IT EXPLODES

The men surrounding Jack are distracted. Jack pulls a pistol out of each pocket and shoots the two men closest to him.

Suzie roars with glee "ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING."

She fires as fast as she can.

The men from the boat and the men in suits try to peg Jack, but Suzie's sniping has them running.

The crane operator opens the door to bails out, leaving the crane in motion.

Suzie runs across the roof of the boathouse and jumps down to the pier. She arrives at a thick mooring cable and climbs across to the boat.

Jack climbs up onto a small lifeboat hanging from the side of the larger boat. From this he climbs aboard the large boat.

Toshiko is firing in all directions. SUDDENLY, she realizes no one is left on the dock.

Pause.

FINALLY, she turns and runs back for the van parked on the pier above. She finds a ramp leading from the dock to the pier. At the van, she finds the one man who has stayed behind to protect it.

The man hears Toshiko coming and raises his gun. Toshiko runs straight at him, screaming frantically in Spanish "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. EVERYONE IS DEAD."

BOOM

She shoots the man point blank in the face and runs over his body as it falls. She gets to the back door of the van and yanks it open.

The inside is stacked with large wooden crates.

Toshiko, suddenly oblivious to the sound of gunfire, opens one of the crates and looks inside.

IT IS FILLED WITH MONEY.

Cash and negotiable bonds of all kinds. She smiles.

BOOM

BLOOD sprays all over the money. Toshiko looks at it, puzzled.

Toshiko raises a blood-soaked hand from her belly. She turns and stares in horror.

BOOM

Another shot takes off the top of her head.

Suzie runs like a wild woman across the deck, heading for the hatch. She shoots in all directions as though she has eyes in the back of her head. She sees Jack climbing onto the deck of the boat.

Ianto is wrestling with what to do. He finally makes a break for the other side of the boathouse.

The crane continues to swing. A single bullet hits one of the barrels on the suspended pellet. Gasoline pours out through the bullet-hole.

Jack finds the hatch and goes below, shooting a man on his way up the stairs. Suzie jumps on board and runs down behind him.

Ianto arrives at the top of the ramp leading from the dock to the pier.

He ducks down behind a guardrail beside the ramp. He turns and sees Toshiko's dead body next to the van. He looks around frantically, frozen in terror. It is quiet, except for the sounds of screaming, far off in the bowels of the boat and the hum of the crane.

.

.

.  
Andy interrupts with a question "Why didn't you run?"

"I froze up. I thought about Owen and how he looked when we buried him, then I thought about Jack. It looked like he might pull it off. " Ianto sighs.

A KNOCK ON THE DOOR.

Rabin steps in and motions for Andy to come outside.

Rabin and Jack Cooper are in the hall. Rabin hands Andy a thick manila folder. Andy thumbs through it.

Cooper is standing out there with a folder "A boy came across a body on the beach this morning. Thrown clear when the boat burned. Shot once in the head. Two guys from the F.B.I. just identified him."

"And?"

"His name was Arturo Marquez. A petty smuggler out of Argentina. He was arrested in New York last year for trafficking. He escaped to California and got picked up in Long Beach. They were setting up his extradition when he escaped again. Get this - Rose Tyler was called in to advise the proceedings."

Andy's eyes widen "Kobayashi."

Cooper smiles and hisses "I called New York County and they faxed me a copy of Marquez's testimony. He was a rat."

Andy pulls out page after page from the file. "A big fucking rat."

"Arturo was strongly opposed to going back to prison. So much so that he informed on close to fifty guys. Guess who he names for a finale?"

Andy finds one sheet and notices a paragraph is highlighted. "Keyser Soze"

"There's more." Cooper says with glee, "Are ya ready for this?"


	12. trap set and baited?

Andy walks in and sits down in front of Ianto. He smiles. "I'll tell you what I know. Stop me when it sounds familiar."

Ianto is confused.

"There was no dope on that boat."

.

.

.

.  
Jack is weaving through tight, low-ceiling corridors, looking in every cabin, working his way towards the bottom of the boat.

Suzie is tearing through the corridors, seemingly less interested in securing the cargo as she is in killing everyone on board.

She screams like a lunatic, shooting everything in her path, killing some men with her bare hands, shooting others, stabbing others still with a knife she has brought along.

One of the men from the boat named Jamie, is half-pushing, half- helping a thin and sweaty looking man in a chequered bathrobe towards a cabin at the end of the hall.

The man in the robe is trembling. He seems stricken with fear. "He's here. I saw him on deck."

Jaime pushes him inside the cabin and shuts the door.

A stereo playing softly in the room mixes with the man's panicked breathing.

The man in the robe screams through the closed door, his voice echoing off of the metal bulkheads. "I'M TELLING YOU IT'S KEYSER SOZE."

Jaime stands outside the door of the cabin and turns to face down the hall. Off in some other part of the boat, he can hear Suzie wailing like a banshee and the ever-less frequent sound of gunshots.

Jack has come to the four-foot-high door to the hold. The door is open slightly. Jack finds this strange. He pushes the door open and steps inside. The hold is empty.

He hears a noise behind him. He wheels around to fire. He sees Suzie in the door. Her face is covered with blood. "Did you hear what I heard?"

"What happened to you?"

"Keyser Soze is on the boat." She blinks.

"What?" Jack's eyes widen in response to the name.

"I heard somebody screaming his nuts off. He said Keyser Soze was on the boat."

"Are you alright?" Jack asks softly.

Suzie rubs some of the blood off with her sleeve. "Huh? Oh, It's not mine."

"There's no coke."

Suzie looks around the hold as though she'll see four and a half tons of dope in some corner where Jack might have missed it. The two men look at one another. There is a long, pregnant silence.

Suzie finally snarls "Let's get the fuck out of here."

"Right behind you."

Jack and Suzie step out of the hold, walking slowly and cautiously back from where they came. They hear the sounds of footsteps running on the deck above and the occasional hollered sentence in Spanish.

"Where's Toshiko?" Jack asks.

"I don't think she made it to the boat." Suzie replies gently as they come to a corner. They can go left or right.

"I can't remember which way." Jack turns to lok both ways with confusion.

"Right – " she points then BOOM - BOOM Gunshots fill the hallway from behind them. They do not stop to turn around. Jack goes left, Suzie goes right. They run in opposite directions with the sound of gunfire right behind them.

Jaime squints and cocks his head. SOMEONE IS COMING. He raises a pistol and crouches by the door.

The man in the bathrobe sits on the foot of the bed watching the door. He hears the sounds of fighting somewhere not too far away.

He crawls over the bed and squeezes between it and the bulkhead. Only the top of his head is visible. He starts to cry.

BOOM - BOOM - Two shots just outside in the hall.

SUDDENLY, the door bursts open. Jaime collapses in a heap on the floor, a bullet hole in his eye.

The man in the bathrobe looks up at the figure. We cannot see him.

"I told them nothing."

BOOM

The man in the robe falls dead.

The boat is quiet now. Jack walks out onto the deck. He looks out over the pier and sees Ianto standing in the middle of the carnage, frozen. Their eyes meet. Jack waves at him as if to shoo him away.

Ianto hesitates and finally moves towards the van with the money. He looks back over his shoulder and sees Jack.

Jack sees him looking and waves again, hurrying him along.

Ianto turns away and focuses on the van.

Jack hears a noise behind him. He swings around and points his gun at Suzie again. He puts the gun down. Suzie smiles. She walks slowly across the deck towards Jack. Something is not right about her. "Strangest thing..."

She slumps to the deck. Jack rushes over to her. He kneels down and sees a pipe sticking out of the back of Suzie's neck.

Ianto approaches the van, stepping over Toshiko's body. He closes the back doors of the van. He looks to his left at the huge loading crane. He glances upward along the giant arm as it swings steadily on. Somewhere, off in the distance, the sound of sirens can be heard.

Jack kneels by Suzie, trembling with rage. After a moment he stands, looking down at Suzie' dead body.

SUDDENLY, Ianto realizes something. He turns and goes to call out a warning to Jack. He is too late.

Jack never sees the crane coming.

WHAM

The pellet of barrels hits him square in the back and sends him flying into the wheel house of the boat.

Jack is still for a moment. Finally, he tries to get up, but finds he cannot move his legs.

Ianto runs down the ramp as fast as he can. He comes to a rope ladder hanging down the side of the boat. Suddenly, he stops dead in his tracks, looking up at the boat. From where he stands, he can just make out the figure of a tall, thin man walking along the edge of the deck. He moves quietly and calmly in the shadows towards the crane, looking out of place in his expensive suit.

Something about this man terrifies him.

.

.

.

"And that's when you say in your statement that you saw..." Andy picks up his copy of Ianto's statement to the D.A. "A man in a suit with a slim build. Tall."

"Wait a minute." Ianto begs, covering his face with his hands, terrified now.

Andy is looking at his watch impassively "I don't have a minute. Are you saying it was Keyser Soze? You told the D.A. you didn't know who it was."

Ianto is drowning in Andy's interrogation. He looks dazed. "I - there had to be dope there."

"Don't shine me, Ianto. No more stalling. You know what I'm getting at."

"I don't." Ianto whimpers pathetically.

"YES YOU DO. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GETTING AT. THE TRUTH. TRY TO TELL ME YOU DIDN'T KNOW. TRY TO TELL ME YOU SAW SOMEONE KILL JACK. "

For the first time, Ianto stands and tries to move away from Andy, but Andy stays in his face, backing him into a corner. Ianto shields himself with his hands and shuts his eyes.

"TRY TO KEEP LYING TO ME NOW. I KNOW EVERYTHING."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Ianto whispers softly.

"YOU KNOW. YOU'VE KNOWN THIS WHOLE FUCKING TIME. GIVE IT TO ME."

Ianto looks into Andy's eyes with genuine terror. Andy's face is red, his body trembles. His locomotive breathing is the only sound in the room.

"I don't understand what you're saying. I saw Jack get shot, I swear to you."

"Then why didn't you help him?" Andy is Mr Iceman now.

Ianto wails "I WAS AFRAID, OKAY? Somehow, I was sure it was Keyser Soze at that point. I couldn't bring myself to raise my gun to him."

"But Jack..."

"It was Keyser Soze, Agent Andy. I mean the Devil himself. How do you shoot the Devil in the back?" Ianto holds up a shaking, twisted hand. "What if you miss?"

.

.

.

Ianto is hiding in the tangle of girders and cables on the barge.

Jack's body is completely obscured. The man in a suit strides across the deck over to Jack, stopping to relieve himself on a small fire on the deck. He walks up and stands over Jack. The two men exchange words and the man in the suit pulls out a pistol. He points it at Jack.

Red and blue lights flash behind Ianto.

Ianto turns. He can just make out police cars coming in the distance.

BANG

Ianto hears a shot from the deck of the boat. He turns in time to see the man in the suit running across the deck toward the gangway.

Ianto can barely see the man from where he is now. The man in the suit is covered by shadows and the poor angle from the barge. Ianto strains to see but he cannot.

The man in the suit stops long enough to pull out a lighter.

He turns and walks back across the deck and out of sight. A moment later flames leap up from on the deck. The mesh of steel and rubber leaves a dark and open cocoon at its base.

Sirens are close now. Almost here. The sound of fire raging out of control.

SIRENS BLARING. TIRES SQUEALING. CAR DOORS OPENING. FEET POUNDING THE PAVEMENT. MOVE FURTHER, SLOWER, INTO THE DARKNESS.

Voices yelling. New light flickering in the surrounding darkness.

.

..

"Arturo Marquez. Ever hear of him?" Andy interrupts again and a flicker of something passes Ianto's face. Annoyance? Or something else.

"Wha- No."

"He was a stool pigeon for the Justice Department. He swore out a statement to Federal Marshals that he had seen and could positively identify one Keyser Soze and had intimate knowledge of his business, including, but not exclusive to, drug trafficking and murder."

"I never heard of him." Ianto shakes his head vigorously.

"His own people were selling him to a gang of Hungarians. Most likely the same Hungarians that Soze all but wiped out back in Turkey. The money wasn't there for dope. The Hungarians were going to buy the one guy that could finger Soze for them." Andy explains.

"I said I never heard of him."

"But Jack had." Andy is gleeful now as he has something Ianto's doesn't "Rose Tyler was his extradition advisor. She knew who he was and what he knew."

"I don't."

"There were no drugs on that boat. It was a hit. A suicide mission to whack out the one man that could finger Keyser Soze so Soze had a few thieves put to it. Men he knew he could march into certain death." Andy is smug as he sits back asn watches Ianto struggle with confusion.

"But how - wait. You're saying Soze sent us to kill someone?"

"I'm saying Jack did. "


	13. Slap!

Ianto cannot grasp this. He squints, trying to understand.

"Ianto, he left you behind for a reason. If you all knew Soze could find you anywhere, why was he ready to send you off with the money when he could have used you to take the boat?"

"He wanted me to live." Ianto whimpers.

"Why did he want you to live?" Andy sneers "A one-time dirty cop without a loyalty in the world finds it in his heart to save a worthless rat-cripple? No, sir. Why?"

"Rose."

"I don't buy that reform story for a minute. And even if I did, I certainly don't believe he would send you to protect her. So why?"

Ianto is weeping now, his deformed hand brushing back a tear "Because he was my friend."

"No, Ianto. You weren't friends. Jack didn't have friends. He saved you because he wanted it that way. It was his will."

Ianto grinds to a mental halt, trying to grasp the implication. Then he splutters suddenly "No..."

"Jack was Keyser Soze." Andy supplies the words Ianto is choking on.

"NO."

"The kind of guy who could wrangle the wills of women like Toshiko and Suzie. The kind of man who could engineer a police line-up from all his years of contacts in N.Y.P.D."

Ianto stands on wobbly legs, shaking with anger. "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO."

Andy continues with his own voice raised now "THE KIND OF MAN THAT COULD HAVE KILLED ROSE TYLER."

A strange look crosses Ianto's face. Shock perhaps, or revelation. "They found her yesterday in a hotel in Pennsylvania. Shot twice in the head. Damn near had her face blown completely off."

It starts to sink in with Ianto. His eyes swell. "Rose..."

"He used all of you to get him on that boat. He couldn't get on alone and he had to pull the trigger himself to make sure he got his man. The one man that could identify him. The body was bled out ... deformed like...like... a cripple!"

"This is all bullshit" Ianto is looking around like there might be hidden cameras, this all some cosmic joke..

"He left you to stay behind and tell us he was dead. You saw him die, right? Or did you? You had to hide when the first police cars showed up. You heard the shot, just before the fire but you didn't see him die." Andy pushes.

"I knew him. He would never …"

Andy can see he is almost there, just a few more pushes and he can close this "He programmed you to tell us just what he wanted you to. Customs has been investigating him for years. He knew we were close. You said it yourself. Where is the political pressure coming from? Why are you being protected? It's Jack making sure you tell us what you're supposed to. Immunity is your reward."

"BUT WHY ME? WHY NOT TOSHIKO OR OWEN OR SUZIE?" Ianto screams then sobs as he slumps and whimpers "I'm a cripple. I'm stupid. Why me?"

Ianto hears the weight of his words and falls back in his chair, Andy looks at him with some pity; but he is too far in to stop.

"Because you're a cripple, Ianto." Andy has it now, triumphant "Because you're stupid. Because you were weaker than them. Because you couldn't see far enough into him to know the truth."

Ianto is crying now. He shakes his head, eyes closed.

"If he's dead, Ianto - if what you say is true, then it won't matter. It was his idea to hit the Taxi Service in New York, wasn't it? Tell me the truth."

Ianto is sobbing "It was all Jack. We followed him from the beginning. "

Andy smiles with triumphant satisfaction.

"I didn't know. I saw him die. I believe he's dead. Christ." Ianto is shrinking in the chair. Childlike now.

"Why lie about everything else, then?"

"You know what it's like, Andy, to know you'll never be good? Not good like you. You got good all fucked around. I mean a stand up guy. I grew up knowing I was never going to be good at anything 'cause I was a cripple. Shit, I wasn't even a good thief. But I thought the one thing I could be good at was a keeping my mouth shut - keeping the code. I didn't want to tell you for my dignity, that's all, and you robbed me, Andy. You robbed me."

Andy pulls the microphone out from under his tie and puts it on the desk. Ianto actually manages to snort a laugh, but only briefly, overcome by an apparent wave of nausea. Andy says softly "You're not safe on your own."

Ianto looks up with new horror "You think he's..?"

"Is he Keyser Soze I don't know, Ianto. It seems to me that Keyser Soze is a shield. Like you said, a spook story, but I know Jack - and someone out there is pulling strings for you. Stay here and let us protect you."

"I'm not bait." Ianto is shaking his head "No way. I post today."

"You posted twenty minutes ago. Captain Leo wants you out of here a.s.a.p., unless you turn state's."

"I'll take my chances, thank you." Ianto rises and shoots his cuffs, eager to be gone from this horrible day "It's tougher to buy the cheapest bag- man than it is to buy a cop."

"Where are you going to go, Ianto?" Andy now sees the problem, his star is about to slip away "You gonna run? Turn states evidence. You might never see trial. If somebody wants to get you, you know they'll get you out there."

"Maybe so, but I'm no rat, Andy. You tricked me, that's all. I won't keep my mouth shut 'cause I'm scared. I'll keep it shut 'cause I let Jack down by getting caught - Rose Tyler too. And if they kill me, it's because they'll hear I dropped dime. They'll probably hear it from you." Ianto stands, mustering his shattered dignity and walks towards the door. Rabin opens it for him from outside.

For once Andy cannot bring himself to look at Ianto. Ianto turns to the door, stopping to look him in the eye.

"Fuckin' cops."

He steps out of the room and into the hall. Andy follows him.

.

.

..  
Daniel Metzheiser comes out of Ivan Kovash's room with a single sheet of 15x20 inch paper in his hand. He inspects the sketch with great interest. He folds the edges of the paper back to make it smaller.

Metzheiser walks behind the reception desk without asking the nurse for permission and helps himself to the fax machine.

.

.

Ianto is downstairs in the depot of the police station picking up his personal belongings.

A fat, white-haired cop is checking off the items as he takes them out of the tray in which they are kept. "One watch: gold. One cigarette lighter: gold. One wallet: brown. One pack of cigarettes."

Ianto collects his personal items and shuffles on his lame leg toward the exit.

A grunt stands by a fax machine. A green light comes on next to a digital display.

THE DISPLAY READS: RECEIVING

Andy stares solemnly at the bulletin board, Cooper drinking from his coffee cup. She sits at the desk, sifting through the mound of gapers as though considering organizing them once and for all.

"You still don't know shit." Cooper says softly to him.

"I know what I wanted to know about Jack."

"Which is shit."

"No matter. He'll have to know how close we came." Andy sighs.

"Keyser Soze or not, if Jack's alive he'll never come up again" Cooper points out.

"I'll find him"

"Waste of time."

Andy mutters to himself "A rumour is not a rumour that doesn't die."

"What?"

"Nothing. Something I - forget it." Andy shakes his head. He gestures to the desk. "Man, you're a fucking slob."

Cooper regards the mess of her office. "Yeah. It's got its own system though. It all makes sense when you look at it right. You just have to step back from it, you know? You should see my garage, now that's a horror show..."

Andy is not listening. He has been staring at the bulletin board, lost in thought, his unfocused eyes drifting across the mess of papers, not looking at anything at all.

.

.

Ianto steps out into the sunlight, putting on a pair of cheap sunglasses. He looks up and down the crowded street.

People on their way to and from lunch, no doubt.

Cars choke the street in front of the police department as they wait for pedestrians to clear the way.  
.

.

..  
A single sheet of paper comes out of the fax machine, face down.

Andy still stares at the bulletin board with another cup in his hand. Suddenly, Andy's face changes. He leans in closer to the bulletin board and squints his eyes. His face changes again. First a look of puzzlement, then confusion - finally realization.

The coffee cup tumbles from his hand. It hits the floor with the smash of cheap porcelain. Coffee splatters everywhere.

Cooper snaps out of her droning and looks up in surprise.

Andy is staring not at what is on the bulletin board, but at the bulletin board itself. His eyes follow the aluminium frame, mounted firmly to the wall. One might note it's sturdy construction and it's convenient size. Big enough to hold a lifetime of forgotten and disregarded notes and facts. Years of police trivia that has been hung and forgotten with the intention of finding a use for it all someday. One might want such a bulletin board for one's self. One would look to see who makes such a bulletin board.

Andy's eyes are locked on a metal plate bearing the manufacturer's name.

It reads: QUARTET - SKOKIE, ILLINOIS Andy's eyes flash all over the bulletin board. He finds a picture of Cooper in the far corner. She stands beside a scale in fishing gear with a rotund man who must be her husband. She proudly holds a hand out to her freshly caught marlin. His eyes skim quickly over and stop on an eight and a half by eleven inch fax sheet of what must be a THREE HUNDRED POUND BLACK MAN. Andy glazes over his name, it is irrelevant. His aliases stand out.

Slavin, BRICKS, Shank, BOBBY BLOWFISH, Thee, Rooster...

ANDY'S EYES WIDEN with sudden realization. He runs for the door.

His foot crushes the broken pieces of the coffee cup. The cup that hovered over Ianto's head for two hours.

Andy is in too much of a hurry to notice the two words printed on the jagged piece that had been the bottom of the cheap mug.

KOBAYASHI PORCELAIN.

Andy is sprinting wildly down the hall for the stairs.

Ianto looks behind him and sees another cop standing just inside the doorway, lighting a cigarette. The cop notices Ianto and watches him in the way that cops look at people they cannot place in the category of idiot citizen, or stupid criminal. Ianto smiles politely, meekly at the cop and walks down the steps into the moving throng.

Andy runs up to the desk where Ianto had only moments before picked up his belongings. Rabin is right behind him, a look of absolute confusion on his face. "WHERE IS HE? DID YOU SEE HIM?"

"The Cripple? He went that way." The cop gestures towards the door.

Andy runs outside looking around frantically.

Ianto limps his way carefully across the sidewalk, avoiding people as best as he can. He looks over his shoulder, getting farther away from the police station. He can see Andy and the cop on the steps, looking around with strange, lost expressions on their faces.

He does not notice the black SUV creeping along the curb beside him.

The driver's hands tap the wheel patiently. His eyes follow Ianto as he fumbles through the crowd.

Andy pushes and shoves, looking this way and that.

Low angle on the feet of dozens of people. Ianto's feet emerge from the crowd on the far side. They hobble along the curb. Suddenly, the right foot seems to relax a little, the inward angle straightens itself out in a few paces and the limp ceases as though the leg has grown another inch.

Ianto's hands are rummaging around in his pockets. The good left hand comes up with a pack of cigarettes, the bad right hand comes up with a lighter. The right hand flexes with all Of the grace and coordination of a sculptor's, flicking the clasp on the antique lighter with the thumb, striking the flint with the index finger. It is a fluid motion, somewhat showy.

Ianto lights a cigarette and smiles to himself. He turns and sees the car running alongside.

The grunt pulls the sheet out of the fax machine and turns it over, revealing the composite sketch of Keyser Soze. Though crude and distorted, one cannot help but notice how much it looks like IANTO JONES.

The car stops. The driver gets out. It is Jack, or the man we have come to know as such. He smiles to Ianto. Ianto steps off of the curb, returning the smile as he opens the passenger door and Jack walks around to get in. "Hey, I really didn't like using Rose's name for this but it did seem to play. The bodies were well chosen and our covers are officially blown. Can we get the hell out of here now and go home to Wales, America really sucks and I know the Gerffoks will be relieved we eliminated their rogue agent. Damned aliens. Oh, hey Toshiko wants to know if the cookies are still out of bounds."

"Tell her since I know Owen is already pilfering them she may indulge" The man called Kobayashi gets in the driver's seat and pulls away as his voice changes to a soft Welsh accent as he plugs an earwig in. "And Suzie needs to recheck her charges next time, damn near killed all of us, not just you Cariad. Oh, and Tosh? Great work with those fake reports, you really kept up with me little blossom. Although … that Kerfig did get away from me and that race are bastards for complaining. Put the kettle on love."

A moment later, Agent David Andy of U.S. Customs wanders down the sidewalk looking around much in the way a child would when lost at the circus.

He takes no notice of the SUV pulling out into traffic with the driver removing an earpiece as he laughs with his lover, blending in with the rest of the cars filled with people on their way back to work.

BLACK

THE END

.

.

..

.

For those of you who didn't understand … it was a shell game. A lie. Ianto was telling a story that explained the bodies of the aliens they had killed while getting themselves out of dodge. Sose was Ianto the whole time and nobody died…well… anyone we care about. He was simply stalling while Toshiko went through their servers cleaning up.

Bloody Torchwood eh?


End file.
